Kiss My Sass [Books 1 & 2]

[book 1] chapter two: new neighbour

"Burgers?"

"We eat them three times a week."

"Casserole?"

"What even is a casserole?"

I stopped for a moment, taken aback by his question. "I have no idea."

"Can we have pizza?"

"We don't have any pizza dough."

"I know someone who does." Alex grabbed the landline, and he dialled a number. "Can I have two extra large sausage and pepperoni pizzas with mushrooms, green olives, and extra cheese? Chicken wings are half off this week?" He paused to look at me. "I'll take three orders of barbecue wings!" I glared at my little brother who smiled innocently at me. "Our dinner should be here in half an hour."

~*~

"This homemade pizza is delicious. Good job, Dan," Brenton teased.

"When I said I wanted you to take care of dinner I meant for you to make it," Mom chastised.

"Don't blame me, Alex made the call!" I knew it was immature of me to blame my kid brother, but there was no way I was taking ownership for something he did.

"That doesn't matter, Dani. You're the older sibling."

"Did you guys see the moving truck next door?" Niko said in an attempt to change the topic.

"That's actually what I wanted to discuss with you all." Mom left her untouched slice of pizza to go to the kitchen.

The second she was gone, my pig of a twin grabbed her slice and gobbled it down. "What?" he said between mouthfuls of sausage and mushrooms when he saw my disgusted expression.

Before I could call him a gluttonous swine, Mom returned with a plate and a box of store-bought brownies. "I'm sure you all know how much this election means to me."

"So we're celebrating with brownies?" my stupid twin asked.

"No, hon, these are for the new neighbours." Mom placed the brownies on the plate to make them look as if they were homemade. "In order for me to win, I have to appeal to as many voters as possible."

As if she already didn't have enough time for her family, our mother was running to be the next Mayor of Stone Creek. She worked as a paralegal for years, but I guess she wanted to be adventurous and try something out of her comfort zone. As a result, things have been hectic at home the past few weeks. We were all still getting used to Mom's crazy work hours, and being on our best behaviour - which was easier said than done for we Parker kin. Everything we did had an impact on her likeliness to win and become elected.

"Therefore, I want to be neighbourly to our new neighbours, so when they vote they see a familiar face," Mom continued.

"So you're going to persuade them to vote for you with store-bought brownies?" Brenton asked with a frown, clearly still upset he wasn't allowed to eat the brownies.

"Eat a wing and stop complaining," I said with an eye roll.

His frown deepened. "They're finished."

Being the mature sibling I was, I picked up the last chicken wing on my plate and I shoved it in his mouth.

"DP the MVP," Brenton chanted with his mouth full.

Our mother looked at her filthy son with distaste before finishing what she was saying. "I can't fraternize with the townspeople of Stone Creek, or else it will seem like I am buying votes. However, one of you can do it for me."