faded. | fezco

intro

there i was. back in the shitty town i had once been so desperate to get away from. yet, now i couldn't be more excited to be back in.

a year's a long as time, but my past one felt like an eternity.

i had missed my home. my school. my mom. my streets. my fucking friends.

but most importantly;

my rue.
rue, my sweet loving rue.

we're pass friends, pass best friends.
we're practically sisters.

rue and i have been stuck by the hip since the fourth grade. it all started when a mean boy spit his gum in rue's big curly hair on the playground. rue being rue, was too scared to tell, so she went to the bathroom with a pair of scissors, determined to cut it out herself. luckily, i had found her before any major damage was done, me helping her the rest of the way. since then, we've been inseparable.

rue and i have done every coming of age thing together. well not literally but i'm just saying that's how long we've been friends.

rue was there when i had my first boyfriend in the sixth grade, which i don't even count because of the fact that we only held hands and then broke up within a week.

i was there when rue had her first kiss. the story's depressing to be honest, i'd rather not retell it.

rue was there when my parents first started fighting. i'd spin endless nights at her house, getting as much space away from my hell of a household as possible.

i was there when rue's dad gotten sick. i remember staying with her after school to cater to him, just so she wouldn't have to do it alone.

rue was there when my parents split up. my dad moving to florida not even two months after the divorce was finalized.

i was there when rue snuck her first drug. till this day she doesn't know i saw her do it, but i surely did from the other side of her father's bed while we watched sitcoms on the tv.

we were together when we came across fezco. a local boy that had went to our school actually, only two years older. he had dropped out and when we met him, he now ran a local convenient store owned by his grandmother.

we were together when fezco asked us if we wanted to buy any medicine, but not the over the counter kind located in the store.

we were together when we purchased two oxys, rue telling me that those were what her dad took before he had passed and she wanted to know the feeling, even though i knew she already had before.

we were together when we got high as ever off those pills, starting a new addiction neither one of us knew was to come.

my mother was the first to notice. bags always under my eyes, me waking up in the middle of the night from cold sweats, loss of my gigantic appetite, etc.

at first she didn't mention it, her believing i was just going through a phase, a rebellion from her because she'd left me father. that was until rue and i were about a month in, our joyride at it's peak, when she'd finally had enough of me

shed pack my bags when i was at school one day, loading them in her suv. she picked me up like normal, but we definitely didn't take our normal route home. i was too busy on my phone to notice, recreating my playlists that i was perfecting for my planned night out with rue.

the car had stopped, my head finally lifting to the busy airport in front of me. i turned to her, not understanding, her explaining the best she could. sure i had cried, kicked, and screamed, but it was no use. she had promised it'd be just for the summer, but i can assure you, that was a lie.

moving in with dad was hard. i hated him. i hated how he made mom feel in the past. how he pushed her to divorce him. how he had moved away from our family.

when next fall rolled around, i had started a new school, made new friends, made more bad decisions. it never felt like home, though. i knew where i belonged. and it wasn't in the sunshine state of florida.

today, i'm back. and although i've been waiting for this moment, i could tell this place wasn't the same. at least not how i remember it.

my mom was dating someone. i didn't mind though, he was nice. he treated her good. they'd even moved us to a new house, mom insisting the old one reminded her too much of dad.

rue had overdosed apparently. her being released from rehab only a couple days before i returned.

i guess even though i got sent away to clean up my act, there was no one here to help her do the same.

until now.

i'm sure rehab instilled many reasons for her to want to stay alive, but nothing beats me, her non-blood sister.

things definitely had changed around here, but i didn't mind.
it just felt good to be back.