When?

Chapter 8

My jaw dropped at his words. How could he say that so casually

"Are you waiting for something to go inside your mouth because that can be arranged," he smirked causing me to instantly close my mouth

"Why am I even talking to you. I'm just 'another one for the record' to you,"

"You can't blame me for trying to fuck you. You are pretty hot," he winked

"I thought I wasn't your type,"

"I said barely my type. I didn't say weren't my type at all,"

"You're so irritating," I groaned

"Isn't that the best thing about me," he stepped closer to me until he was only a few inches away

"No, it's actually the worst,"

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm VERY sure," I breathed out

"That doesn't sound very sure to me," he tilts my head up so my gaze meets his

"As I said before, I'm very sure,"

I could see him inching closer to me but I was better than him and I wasn't going to let this happen

'The hell you are'

I turned my face away from his

"Problem?"

"Yes there's a fucking problem. You want me to be one of your play things,"

"Look, I said what I had to, okay. Was there anything else I could've said that wouldn't have made her flip out,"

"Plenty,"

"Well now the moods ruined. Thanks a lot," he moved away from me

"There was NEVER a mood to begin with,"

"It sure looked like you wanted what was going to happen more than I did,"

His face went dead serious

"You still haven't answered my question," he said, referring to when he asked what Caroline said about me is true

"What happens to me is none of your concern,"

"You can't just let him abuse you like that. I does serious damage to your body,"

"You don't say,"

"I'm serious. Sooner or later he's going to take it too far and your body won't be able to handle it anymore,"

"He already took it too far when he killed my God damn mother. She didn't overdose on freaking drugs, he abused her to the point of DEATH!"

"Sure she took drugs to cope with the abuse but she wouldn't overdose herself on it. At least not on purpose,"

"She always told me that we'd get out of that house so i'd have a better future, a better chance at life than she did. She said that when we left she'd take it easy on the drugs so she could look decent for when I graduate. She knew she wasn't perfect, no one is, but at least she was trying her best in the state she was. She tried her best to keep me safe from that man I called a father," I leaned back against the locker

Why am I telling him all of this. Maybe it's because it's been so long that I actually opened up to anyone my emotions are taking over for me

"She actually got through with a small apartment a good distance away from him. We decided that we'd sneak out of the house at night when he seems to be asleep or passed out drunk. But our small dream was cut short cause he found out. He didn't like the plan, obviously. He acted asleep and waited until we were sneaking out before he attacked her. I watched him beat my mother until her body went limp. I couldn't even do anything but watch her die,"

"She probably wouldn't have died if she didn't want a better life for me," my voice cracked as tears filled my eyes

"I watched him hit her over and over and over. Even after she went limp he continued. I couldn't do anything to help her. I could've at least went over to across the street to try and get help but I didn't. And now she's gone and it's mainly my fault. His police friends helped him to hide her body and cover up any tracks of him being her murderer," I watched as my tears hit the tip of my shoes

"So now i'm his little punching bag," I wiped the tears away looking back up at him

"All I can say is you need to leave that place,"

"Are you not understanding what i'm saying. I CAN'T LEAVE. He'll just find me. Even if I leave i'm on my freaking own. I'm not dragging my one friend into this mess,"

"Do you have any idea how it feels to wake up everyday and hate yourself. To want to die but you just can't. To be told you're not worth it, that you're not important. To be told that you're at the bottom of the chain," I said and he diverted his gaze away from me

"Do you have any idea how hard I try just to make it look like i'm okay in life. To see myself everyday and not fucking cry. To be hated and abused by your own flesh and blood. How hard it is to focus on life when all you're thinking is how better life would be without you in it,"

"Do you have the slightest idea of how it feels...to be me," I said trying my hardest not to cry but failing

"When you put it that way, no, I don't. Everyone loves me,"

Did he really just say that. After all I said just now

 "I wouldn't expect you to understand," I walked away from him going to my job

"Where are you going," 

Ignore

I could hear his heavy footsteps catching up to me

"What do you want. To gloat about how good you are and about how everyone loves you because I DON'T want to hear it. Just leave me the fuck alone," I continued walking

And he did just that. He left me alone