Darkside

Thirty-Eight

"Cash, you look so handsome today," I purr as my black dress whips around my knees. "Don't we look fancy, huh? Headed out to a fancy restaurant for our first real date. It's exciting."

"It's going to be a special night for me and you as well. Very special."

Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Did I just spot a ring box in his pocket? Oh my God, is he going to propose?

It makes sense. We have been living in a fairy tale ever since we first met. I just knew that our connection through the computer screen would translate into real life. There might've been hiccups along the way but I'm so glad we pulled through it all because now he's going to be my husband. My happy ever after.

"What do you mean special?" I can't resist teasing him. "That sounds serious."

His fingers lace through mine. Electricity bolts in my body.

"Oh, but wait." He yanks away from me. Immediately, I ache. "Who's that at the door?"

"What are you...?" I trail off as I hear it too. "Oh yeah, I hear it now too."

"It could be Alisha, my wife. Have you met her?"

My blood runs ice-cold. Of course, he has a wife.

"Or Orson. He could be joining us for tonight. Or maybe your father with your mom's corpse. She's starting to smell a bit now though, isn't she? It's gross. Are you ever going to tell him to leave that thing at home?"

The nasty laugh is too much, I can't stomach it. Who the hell is this Cash? Was he always this person? How did I not see it?

"It could be all of them, Luvvie. Wouldn't that be a treat? A reunion for us all."

"No, I don't want that. I don't want any of it."

"Then you need to jump out the window. That's the only way you can become Phoenix forever."

"Window?" I don't see a window. Until I do. "Oh, that one."

But the drop is far, too far, it'll kill me.

"I have to die."

That's what he wants. Cash wants me dead. He killed me once with his lies and now he wants me to die again. Only it isn't him this time. It's everyone. Mom, Dad, Orson, Alisha...

"I don't want to die."

"I didn't either," he reminds me. "I wasn't honest, but I didn't want to die. Nor did your mom. You don't even know why she isn't here anymore. Orson didn't deserve it either. Poor guy. He went through so much, he survived a horrible upbringing, a destitute life, then he met you. He fell in love with you for a while, that was his only mistake. He loved you and wanted to make your life better, only he couldn't because you ruined him. Now he's dead as well. Beaten, then killed. After everything. I feel so sorry for him."

"I don't want to die. I don't want to die." I can't stop saying those words. Over and over. "I don't want to die. Please, don't make me die."

I have to though, I know that much. I can't live any longer.

Well, Luvvie can't.

I don't think Phoenix will either, despite Cash's words.

My body trembles as I drag myself up onto the window ledge. The endless eyes behind me all watch in a row, needing this to happen. They want me dead, I have no choice. I can't even spin to see them because someone will push me. That's how badly they want me gone.

I'm falling. If I like it or not, I'm going over the edge.

"It's time." Did I say that or someone else? "It's time. I give up. It's time to die."

I'm still shaking as I extend my leg out into the breeze. I still don't want to even as I lean. Death is coming for me whether I'm ready for it or not. All I can do is tumble into it.

I fought, I tried, I had a go and it didn't work. This is the only choice I have left.