And Probably Not Forever

Chapter 2: What is life? Tell me.

Chapter 2: What is life? Tell me.

Leandro Quel Fajardo

Isang buong araw akong hindi nagparamdam sa kahit kanino man. Sa mga katrabaho't kaibigan ko, at kahit kay Allie. Tinatawagan niya ako pero wala pa akong lakas ng loob na sagutin iyon. Buong araw na din akong naiyak, hindi ko kasi alam kung ano nga ba ang dapat kong gawin. Everything I want dissipated.

Even marrying Allie became a fear. I don't want her to get hurt.

Then, Theo called. "Lean? What the fuck, man? Ano nang nangyari sayo? Bakit hindi mo sinasagot tawag ko?"

"Theo..." I sobbed.

"Lean? May problema ba?"

"Cancel everything. Cancel the plan." Then I hang up. Pinatay ko na rin kaagad phone ko.

I decided to end things here. I may have made a rush and irrational decision but this is the only thing I could save Allie from a deeper pain.

So I waited for her outside her apartment. Hindi rin nagtagal dumating na din siya. She ran towards me. Ang sakit lang kasi pinipili kong pakawalan siya kaysa sabihin sa kaniya ang lahat at harapin naming dalawa yung problema. But I can't drag her into this. I love her too much to let her get through this.

"Hi Lean!"

Fuck I will miss this.

I hugged her. This will be the last time she will be this close to me.

"May problema ba?" She asked. Humigpit ang hawak ni Allie sa braso ko.

"Allie, I'm so sorry..."

This was it.

"Fuck, Lean! Ano ba kasi?!" May nangingilid nang luha sa mata ni Allie. I promised myself to always make her happy, but what am I doing right now? I am fucking things up.

"I'm sorry... Pero I want a break up..." 

Allie, if you only know how much I lied to you today. I am so sorry.

But I'm doing this for you, so I'll just endure everything because you deserve more than this.