Will & Grace... A Little Differently (COMPLETED)

chapter 7

With hands full of shopping bags, I finally got home. How can girls shop so often? Walking through the mall nearly cost me my mental health and I don't feel my legs.

"Woah, so this is how you spent a lovely Saturday." Ian snickered. I turned around and rolled my eyes.

"Wow!" Jessica squealed behind him. "You got a haircut!"

Oh no, I hoped I would go unnoticed. I guess not. If girls can detect their friends got their ends trimmed by half inch, my transformation from unkempt heavy-metal fan to a boyband member was pretty obvious.

"Um, yeah. Erin sat me in the chair and the rest is history." I shrugged and cringed.

"Don't make that face! You look much better now! Not that it was totally terrible before but a little unkempt, you know?" Jess smiled and fixed a strand of hair from my face. "Ian, babe, what do you think?"

"Yeah, it's good. Whatever. I have pasta boiling, excuse me..." he trailed off.

Us guys don't gush about haircuts and that shit. We talk about man stuff. Wrestling, boobs, video games, cars... All that jazz.

Well, if Ian is just not giving me a speech how he almost slipped on my forgotten sock and how I should have better track of where I leave my stuff.

Long story short, Ian is a girl.

Jess ran to help him cook and I went to my room. I collapsed onto my bed. What now? I had all those clothes that almost cost me my half of the rent, new hair I'll have to take care of every morning (arghhhhh why) and now it's on me to somehow put it all together.

Erin's advice echoed in my head. You're not doing any of this for her, not for anyone else. It's for you and only you can know what to do next.

It is partly because of her. Because of Grace.

But not to impress specifically her. I'm still feet on the ground. Grace is someone unavailable. Someone like her being single is a chance one in a million. And her having interest in me is one in a billion even if I look like I don't know what.

Everything I bought today, those are just crutches. The change needs to come from my core. I need to work on myself. And I think that's what Erin meant.

For my entire life, I let myself down. I was resigned. I wasn't living. And I want to live. I will.

I grabbed my guitar from the stand. When I play something I can truly relate to in that moment, I even sometimes have a feeling I can make everything I want reality. Let's just hope it's going to last more than five minutes this time.

I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did

With every broken bone
I swear I lived

My face hurt a little. Maybe I smiled too widely. But this pain is actually not so bad.

If I'm in for becoming a better me, I might as well start at home. I joined Ian and Jess for the Fettuccine Alfredo they made. I appreciated that neither of them asked why I suddenly had this change of heart about my appearance.

I could feel it off of Jess that she itched to interrogate me. She has a habit of bouncing her knee which gave her away. But she knew better. I've known her since Ian brought her to our go-to pub where we used to go back at the time.

When I think of my life now, I wasn't completely isolated. Ian was just the only friend I hanged out with. And Erin. I only started preferring my own company as time went.