No regrets left behind (RusMal)

Chapter 1: the past and present

"Get out of here, before we change our mind"

"But Britain, please listen-"

"GET OUT!'

I woke up with cold sweat around my body. It happened again, that dream..... For these past days, it seems that my mind has been refreshing that scene over and over again. I guess that's what you call a shocking trauma, huh? I'm already discouraged to do anything this morning, but I know staying in bed would do me no good, even if it feels very comfortable. I feel disgusting right now.

I got out of the bed, do some light stretches and immediately went straight to shower. For some reason, I wanted to stay in the shower a bit longer. I want to get rid of this horrible sweat stench out of me.  The Hot water flowing on my body felt sensational. I wanna stay here a little longer...

After getting out of the shower and dressing up, I went downstairs. The smell of freshly baked pancakes greeted me in the dining room. Decorated with strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream on top, when will he realise I'm not a big fan of sweets? Nonetheless, I sat at the dining table and ate the sweet-helled pancake. I can't complain, he prepared all of this to me. He's the only person I have. And the only one I can trust.

Speaking of the devil...

Halfway into my breakfast, a familiar face enters the dining room. I keep my head down,  focusing on the pancakes.

"Awwww, Russia? Not even trying to look up when I enter? How rude~"

"I already know it's you, Mal. You're the only one around here, after all."

"Still, it's rude to not glance at your lover. That makes my heart breaks."

Ugh, this again. I can't believe the only person I can trust is in such a delusion that I love him. The person I'm mentioning is Malaysia, my "lover".  It's mostly one-sided on his side. I've never seen Malaysia more than a friend. Still, I'm very grateful that he lets me stay with him after all the backlash I've receive.

The backlash... I still remember it like it was yesterday.

It was a calm night. I was going on a walk and minding my own business. Suddenly, Britain and his followers came out of nowhere and blocked my path. "Russia, we need to talk".
"Well, of course, Britain. What's with the crowd?"
For some reason, he looked angry. Like he could punch me in the face anytime. Spain chimed in. " Look, we don't want to make one-sided judgements. We just came to ask if... You've hurt America before? "
"What.  What's with that question? Of course, I haven't. "
"Don't you dare to fuck with me, you motherfucker-!" Britain yelled and tried to harm me but Spain held him in before he could do anything to me.
I'm confused. What's happening. Why is everyone around me looking at me with judgemental eyes? It's suffocating.
"I'm sorry Russia, but we're just having a hard time believing you," France said.
"I still don't understand anything, what happened to America? "
"Why are you trying to act innocent!? You tortured him to no end, making him traumatized! My poor son... " Britain said.
Tortured? Traumatized? This is all just confusing me more. What happened to America?
"Why are you guys blaming me? I haven't even seen that guy for weeks now!"
"WE KNOW YOU DID IT! " Canada shouted angrily, with tears flowing out. That's a rare sight. Canada is usually a pacifist and barely gets angry at people. I'm in deep trouble, aren't I?
"America went missing for a few weeks, and came back, looking like he just went to hell and back! He was trembling, slurring his words and overall, covered in scars and bruises! All he could say was Russia did it. You hurt America and I can't forgive you for it! " Canada continued. I was speechless. I can't believe what I'm hearing at all. Why would America say that? Sure, we're rivals, but I would never take it that far. Too many thoughts are crossing my mind, and I guess my silence made everyone questioned me more.
"I swear I didn't do anything to him at all! Please believe me! "
Unfortunately, I guess it was too late to make any judgements. They clearly saw me as the bad guy and kicked me out for good. Even my own brothers couldn't help me and left me alone with this situation. I was lost, confuse, and afraid. I felt betrayed by everyone, especially by America. I felt like drowning, but Malaysia pulled me out and made me realize to my senses.

Malaysia helped me when I was in trouble, despite me not giving him any attention before. Mal offered me to stay with him, away from large crowds, and I blindly followed him. It was confusing at first and I had my guard up a lot around him. But at last, he was able to gain my trust. However, the whole lover thing threw me off a lot, especially the time I first heard it. He never confessed to me before. It's like he suddenly got possessed and decided to treat me like a lover or something. But because of my fear of being abandoned, I never really said anything. It's usually harmless anyways. He hasn't forced me to kiss him or do lovey-dovey stuff with him yet. But I do wonder if that day comes, I'll be able to reject him or not...