Some people like to think of alcohol as liquid courage. I agree with those people. However, tonight I am thinking of alcohol as liquid "forget all your problems".
Tonight was Callie and Arizona's engagement party so I'm using tonight as a time to really try to let lose after the love of my life moved away with just a half-ass letter behind.
To my love,
I'm sorry. There is truly no other way to put this but, I don't think I'm coming back. Not to Seattle. There's too much baggage and history in that hospital. I will always love you but I'm releasing you. I hope you find a way to forgive me
Until we meet again, Addison
I've read that letter over thousands of times and I still don't get it. She packed up everything and just let. To be fair, I have no idea where she even is right now.
Knowing Addison, she's in LA working with her practice.
She's the type of person to run away from her problems but she completely moved away from the love of her life.
Addison and I met 4 months prior to dating for an additional 7 months.
Our first time we ever said I love you was the night before Addison let. She said it first and then the next morning, she was gone. I blamed myself for saying it back a lot. Maybe if I wouldn't have said it back and if I would've waited, things would be different.
I went back into the kitchen to see Alex blending up some sort of margarita, I made myself a glass.
"You've been drinking a lot tonight Mer." Alex says.
"Yea, I'm preparing for the worst to happen."
"The worst to happen being Addison showing up?"
"Yup." I take the final sip of my drink an start to socialize again.
I talk to Amelia and Maggie before the door opens and all hell breaks loose.
"Addison! I didn't think you would show up." Callie exclaims from behind me.
"Neither did I honestly, but I'm here to support you and your wife to be." She says. She sounds tired but I can just hear it in her voice that she's smiling.
Amelia and Maggie both turn to me and give me the "are you going to talk to her look".
"She ended it, I have no reason to go over there." I say. I need another drink.
Right as I'm about to get up and walk into the kitchen, I bump into someone with long red hair. It got in my face and I know that it's just my luck that I just ran into Addison.
"I'm sorry my bad." She says frantically before looking to see who she just ran into. "Meredith." Is all she said.
I looked into her eyes and she looked back at mine. Her blue eyes were still gorgeous as ever.
I swiftly move past her and into the kitchen.
Arizona is making some sort of contraption with tequila, triple sec, and something else that I didn't read.
She poured me a glass and I decided it would be best if I hid out in the kitchen for some time.
Addison looked the same, maybe with a tan. Her red hair was still vibrant as ever and although she was smiling, I could see the sadness in her eyes.
We looked at each other. We held eye contact for awhile until she was the one to look away, but she wasn't actually looking away, she was walking towards me.
All of the drinks made it almost impossible to think.
"Why are you here?" My words were slightly slurred so I knew that she knew I've had a little too much to drink.
"I'm here for Callie and I'm here for you but I don't want to tell you anything while you're drunk."
"Drunk speech, sober thoughts." I say while putting my class away in the sink. "We don't have to do this now." I walk away from her rather quickly and sit back down next to Amelia.
She was flirting with some guy named Link from the hospital. I stared down at my feet trying not to pull her aside and make things awkward but as soon as I look up, I see Addison staring at me.
I look back into her eyes again and I feel as if time actually stopped. I didn't think of how she left me with only a letter behind. I didn't think about all of the times she ignored my calls and texts. I didn't think of the part where the love of my life left without any explanation.
Instead, I thought of the good times we had. I thought about all of the dates we went on and our nights at Joe's. I thought of all the nights we spent entangled in each other's arms. I thought of the necklaces we exchanged for Christmas.
Was she still wearing hers? I wanted to and I tried to take mine off but I just couldn't. I held onto the only thing that I had left of her.
Still looking at her, I pulled the necklace out of my shirt to reveal the silver heart with an "A" engraved on the back.
She pulled hers out and rubs her thumb against the back of it.
Now it was my turn to go to her. I carefully find my way through the crowd and look up at Addison.
"Why did you leave me, Addie." I say using my nickname for her by accident.
"I was scared Mer, I didn't mean to come to Seattle to fall in love, then I did and got scared so I ran, I'm truly sorry."
"You could've just talked to me, I would've given you space or something, I feel in love with you and that doesn't mean you can just get up and pack your things just because-" I was interrupted by Addison pressed her lips softly against mine.
It was soft and sweet yet she tasted like sweet wine and I could almost taste my tequila from her lips.
"Forgive me Mer, I love you forever, I will never run again if that's what it takes, I will wait for you as long as it takes." She pleads.
"Come on Mer, if you love her, forgive her." Callie says, what we didn't realize was that we had an audience.
I smile at everyone looked at us and then back at Addison.
"Of course I forgive you Addie."
She pulls me into another kiss and everyone around us claps.
Being able to rest my forehead against her and forget about the entire world was definitely worth the wait.
this title was a little misleading but i enjoyed writing this even though it's short
