A man in a suit sits at a desk. Behind him is a secretary. He is drumming his fingers on the desk.
MAN AT DESK- Secretary?
SECRETARY- Yes, sir?
MAN AT DESK- What time now?
SECRETARY- 4:08, sir.
Suddenly, two people burst through the door. The lady is wearing an infinity scarf and a beret, and the man next to her is wearing a large full-body smock.
CRAIG- Sorry we're late! Traffic!
JIM- Apparently they got rid of all the tandem bicycle lanes on the main road. Hi, I'm Jim Bondon. This is my associate Craig Lightly.
MAN AT DESK- Her name is Craig?
CRAIG (Pointing at Secretary)- Who, her? I don't know.
MAN AT DESK- No, you. He just said your name was Craig.
CRAIG- Oooh. Yes. Yes, That's my name. Sorry, I thought you were talking about her, and I was like "how would I know, she's your aunt."
MAN AT DESK- She's my secretary.
CRAIG- Oh! Congratulations.
JIM- So, I know we're here to pitch you a knockout book idea. But, lucky for you, we have plenty, so we'll just fire away and you tell us if there's one that sparks your interest.
MAN AT DESK- Great. Then start with your best one.
JIM- Got it. So picture this- a little girl. She's living on a farm in Kansas, and her life is very boring.
CRAIG- (Mouthed) So boring.
JIM- She spends all day dreaming of something more, something greater. And then, one day, out of nowhere, a big tsunami hits her house. She's swept up in the waves, and when she surfaces, she's in a magical world filled with tiny donut people. They sing to her because she accidentally killed the evil witch who was using her witchy powers to control the town. She is praised as a hero by the baby donuts-
MAN AT DESK- Jim?
JIM- Yep?
MAN AT DESK- Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. You're telling me the Wizard of Oz.
CRAIG- The what?
MAN AT DESK- The Wizard of Oz. It's a very famous story. You're telling me the exact plot. The only thing different is you made the tornado a tsunami... for some reason.
JIM- I'm sorry, I'm just not familiar with this... what did you say? Wizard of something? Oz?
CRAIG- Is it, like, a folk lore, or-
MAN AT DESK- I'm sorry, you've never heard of the Wizard of Oz?
JIM- Let's say... no.
CRAIG- Alright, it's fine. Since there seems to be some clash of plots, I'll just tell you our next one. Okay? Ready? Picture this- A young, morbidly obese boy.
MAN AT DESK- Weird start.
CRAIG- He isn't accepted by his aunt and uncle, who raise him. They are mean, and try to make him eat vegetables, like radishes and eggs. Until one day, he receives a letter from a school of sorcerers. OoOoOoh!
JIM (Whispered)- Sooooorcery!
CRAIG- Turns out the boy is a sorcerer himself, and they want him to go to their wizard school. Whaaaaat?
JIM (whispered)- Plot twist!
MAN AT DESK- Alright, guys, listen, you're doing the exact same thing.
YOU ARE READING
The Book
HumorWhen a publishing executive calls a meeting with his top writers, he does not expect The Book to be their pitch. It will change his (and your) life.
