Promise Me

Promise Me part 2

                                                                       Devyn's P.O.V.:

I didn't want to go back home.

          I would have to return to chaos, and my crazy ex-girlfriend and her family, who my mom had invited over for dinner and I'd have to be nice to, because they were family friends and we'd known them since forever.

           But most of all, I didn't want to leave Carmella. She was looking smaller and colder, perched up in the branches of her climbing tree, staring my way longingly. It was so obvious she liked me. I wanted to tell her I'd be back soon. I wanted to tell her we'd meet again, and everything would be perfect. But I didn't want to make promises I probably couldn't keep.

"Bye!" Carmella called sadly.

"See ya'," I shouted. Damn, I didn't want to leave her. I forced myself not to look her way. She was so beautiful I knew I'd immediately want her. And I couldn't have that. I'd promised myself I'd never again break another girl's heart.

        I started down the street, walking, then jogging, then running. Mom would be mad at me for coming home late, especially when we were having company over. I'd told her I was at the beach. If I'd said I was with a girl, she'd have asked me about it in front of everyone, and Cherise would get all upset. Last month I had mentioned to my best friend Luke that I thought a girl was hot, and Cherise had heard and almost burst into tears. I did not want to deal with her jealousy right now. Especially because nothing was going to happen between me and Carmella.

         I walked down the stone walkway leading up to the door. Warm orange light flooded the garden from a slit between the curtains. From the outside, or from the eyes of any visitor, our house looked perfect. Warm, cozy, like a magazine picture. Nobody really knew that on the inside, in our hearts, our home was wrecked. Since Dad had left when I was 11, it had felt like more of a house than a home, an empty shell of something that had once felt like love.

      I opened the door. I could hear the sounds of polite chatter and laughter from the dining room. I walked into the room. My mom was seated at the table with my sister Daniella, Cherise and her mom and dad. I tried to avoid locking eyes with Cherise, but somehow her blue eyes met mine. She looked slightly pained, but almost hopeful. I know I sound like a wimp, but I was scared of that look. I was scared because I was almost sure she was concocting a plan to get me back. Didn't she understand that I didn't love her? That I would just reject her and hurt her again and again?

      I felt so bad that my head throbbed. I put a hand to my brow, brushing back my hair, and exhaled quietly.

"Well hello,Devyn!," Cherise's dad greeted me nervously,"Been a long time! How are you?"

"I'm good," I said, trying to sound friendly but frankly I didn't know what else to say.

"Hey, Dev," Daniella said,"Where've you been?"

"Beach," i lied.

"Sit down, sweetie," my mom commanded.

       I slid into the only empty chair, beside Cherise. I could feel her eyes on me. I helped myself to the chicken.

     Dinner conversation was awkward. Soon I just zoned out, started thinking about Carmella. Every time I tried to push her out of my head, her adorable image returned, even more vivid. I had only just met her, only spoken about 4 sentences to her, but I felt like I was falling for her. No, of course I wasn't! Screw that, I was not falling for anyone! I wouldn't hurt another nice, innocent, pretty girl. I didn't want her to start caring about me, then I'd have to hit her with the truth, I would never love her. I would never love anyone. Because I knew the truth about love. It would never last. It didn't exist.

     I'd known this since my parents' marriage crumbled , 3 years ago. They had believed they were in love. They seemed so in love, kissing on park benches and waltzing in the rain on stormy days. But then we started falling apart. It was hard to believe they were still in love when I fell asleep at night to their harsh words, thrown at each other, and the soft, wet sounds of them crying from opposite ends of the house. In the morning I'd found my mom curled up, red-rimmed eyes, on her make-shift bed in the living room. They could no longer even spend time in the same room. Dad took me out, to watch the waves on the beach, buy new things, and eat burgers at In-n'-Out, but I knew that I really just wanted to be out of the house, away from Mom.

       Then one day he just left. He came into my room to say goodnight, after my mom had just went to bed. He was wearing his black leather jacket, the one that smelled like clove cigarettes and peppermints. I remember thinking it was weird that he was wearing that jacket, usually at this time he was in pajamas. I almost asked him where he was going after he put me to bed, but I decided against it.

"Goodnight, buddy," he said, ruffling my hair.

" 'Night, Dad."

"I love you, Devyn," he told me earnestly. His smile looked sad.

"Love you too," I said quietly. I watched his back as he retreated in the darkness and shut the door.

      The next morning he was gone.

.................

"Devyn, can you please pass the potatoes?"

      I snapped out of my memories. My face heated when I noticed Cherise's mom looking at me expectantly. Everyone at the table was watching me curiously. Cherise's mom must have asked me several times.

"Yeah, sure," I muttered, looking down at the table, my ears hot.

         I handed the plate of potatoes to Cherise's mom.

      Cherise was staring at me, or, my body, with a strange look on her face, her peachy red lips pursed. I wondered what she was thinking. Actually, I didn't want to know. She looked like she was undressing me with her eyes. I gulped. She blushed, looking down at her plate and tucking a stray wisp of blonde hair behind her ear.

      I was worried she would try to confront me, so as soon as dinner ended, I stood up abruptly, collected all the plates and silverware, and took it into the kitchen to wash. My mom and sister made me do most of the chores, because apparently it was sexist for women to do the typical household chores. This included doing the dishes, laundry, dusting, mopping, etc. My mom did the cooking , but only because she liked it and was good at it, and scrubbed the surfaces. My sister took out the trash and set the table.

         I was scrubbing a plate and dropping it into the washing machine when Cherise sidled in. I pretended not to see her. I didn't want to talk to her but I knew it was inevitable. Soon enough I felt her breath on the back of my neck. She was standing behind me. I didn't

"Devyn," she murmured,"I miss you."

        I sighed. This again. Why didn't she understand that I wasn't interested?!

       Cherise put her hand on the back of my shoulder. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck prickled. Cherise was pretty, perfect. She could make any guy want her. Except for me. I had already been through that. Now I could see it had all just been a stupid crush. We were incompatible. She loved me, the boy who didn't believe in love.

      Now it seemed like everything she did to try to win me back just turned me off. Cherise pressed up against my back, putting her hands on my chest. I stiffened.

"Cherise," I said uncomfortably.

       She stepped away, a little embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," she said in a small voice, stalking out of the kitchen.

       She was trying to make me feel guilty.

        I hated to admit it, but this time, I was pretty sure it was working.