Stupid Shit from a Stupid Fucking Rat Man.

So before we begin this awful, awful journey I just wanna say thank you to my friend Lupin, who without them this horrendous idea would never have come to my dark, twisted, stupid, rat brain. Go follow them 16_starz on wattpad and twitter, and sixteen-starz on tumblr. 
So with that out of the way I feel like I should introduce myself. 
My name is Connor, I live in California, I play a lot of video games, and I smoke a lot of weed.
I mention these things because they will make up a lot of these quotes, especially the weed. Its how I have most of these stupid fucking thoughts.
I got the name while playing a Pokemon FireRed nuzlocke and I got a Pikachu who was just the stupidest thing Ive ever seen. So I named him Stupid Rat, which is short for Stupid Fucking Rat Man. Me and Lupin came up with the name for the book as soon as we got the idea. He suggested "Stupid shit my friend Connor said." I suggested that but instead of my friend Connor I replaced it with "From A Stupid Fucking Rat Man." and it was really funny so we chose that.
Follow me on twitter returnofRM and on instagram rubbermomjohn.
Any and all names that pertain to my real life have been changed as to protect the privacy of them and myself.
Alright, so with that out of the way lets get into the quotes. 
None of these will be dated by the by, from here on out just stupid shit that spills out of my mouth, and lots of quotation marks.
I hope you enjoy this awful idea.
Run while you still can.

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"Bungee jumping but the bungee chord is 75m of anal beads and they're in your ass and you have to clench to stop yourself."

"Fuck you I'm watching Jeopardy for fun"

"Give me your cummies weed daddy."

"Your not aloud to masturbate to Chun until you pass her combo challenges you horny fuck."

"Highschool really did be making us eat cheeseburgers and milk at 11:30 in the morning like who had the balls?"

"What if Linguini from Ratatouille was having sex with a girl and they pulled his hair and he started making raviolis"

"What anime characters have the biggest dick?"

"That was a really good fucking sandwhich."

"Pink, I want you to add to your abilities 'can fly with dick' "

"Pink add penis enlargement pills to your inventory"

"Red add STD to your inventory." 

"Red we need you to punch a prostitute real quick."
 
"Shut the fuck up that's not how quotes work you dumb motherfucking shit for brains no soul having virgin cunt if you died here nobody would fucking care except for me because I'm the only one who even remotely gives 2 shits about you, your retarded bitch"

"It's called Homosexitis."

"Blue gives Ashley a juice box, and she sucks on it, loving it. Red add erection to your inventory."

"Puerto Rice"

"cries so fucking hard I shit myself" 

"The word short is longer than the word long."

"Do you think Pocahontas smoked weed?"

"Are horomones vibes?"

"I wanna dropkick a heroin baby."

"Yours is white. Mines black; I'm nigga."
 
"toast crumbs on the bread."

"he takes a big fat lick of the frog."

"I'M GONNA PUT WHEELS ON MY FUCKING LEGO BONG."

"I try my best to be a dumb bitch, as its the only thing Im good at anymore."

"Theres a toilet waiting to be shat on, and my ass is feelin full"

"UP MY WHITE ASS BITCH"