SCPs but they're explained by an idiot

SCP-113

what did I say guys, SCP-113 is too powerful

oBJECT cLASS: safe

special containment procedures: 113 is to be kept in standard storage in Site-23. You can touch it, but only with gloves, because 

reasons that are yet to be revealed

no living things should come in contact with 113 without permission

no multi-celled organism may near or touch 113 without the okay from a higher-up

no living creature that has more than one cell and is indeed  deemed a living organism may be geographically near or come into contact by touching or forced contact with the anomalous object known as 'SCP-113' or informally known as the 'Gender-Switcher' without prior approval from an individual or several individuals that are are on a higher level than than the person intending to expose a multi-celled organism that may or may not be sentient to the anomalous object known and logged as 'SCP-113'.

increasingly verbose

personal exposed to 113 are to be kept under medical observation for seven days or a week which is the same thing

if there are people who believe that the earth is flat do they think there are seven days in a week

because if the earth was flat there would be no days in a week

we'd all be dead

simply due to a little thing called gravity, you guys heard of it?

how did you go from increasingly verbose to painfully sarcastic

i don't know man, I'm just trying to finish this so I can go pirate episodes of sherlock online

Description: it's a piece of red jasper 

but it's not made of jasper

okay but if you say that it's a shiny rock but then you say it's not made of rock

it's not a rock

rocks are made of rocks that's why they're rocks

at this point it's 

mineral filled with not mineral

*slow clapping*

yeah you got it, you did it 

you unlocked the secrets of the universe

very good

now this is the part where it gets real funky

when 113 comes into contact with something that has sex  chromosomes

you are not going to have a fun time because 

it changes it 

it fucking changes it

yea

if anyone is wondering, sex  chromosomes determine what sex  you are