Confessions of a Teenage Alcoholic

Chapter 32

I lean back against the mirrored walls and feel the cold touch of glass, it calming my heart, calming the turmoil of emotions.

"Ok Jackson." I breathe, staring at the floor. I'd never push it. Not this.

I could feel his eyes back on me, accusing and hot. And I was trying not to feel their burn, trying to ignore it because I had no idea what he wanted now. No idea what we were going to do about all this mess.

But I couldn't ignore it, their pull. So, I lifted my head and met his eyes, I knew my eyes would have conveyed slight rejection, and his green ones registered it all.

And his resolve broke.

He looked beautiful and dangerous as he stalked towards me, closing the little bit of distance between us and I was once again pushed up between a wall and the man that was him.

"Don't look at me like that, you absolute lunatic. Of course I want you." He grits out at me and his anger, or well more frustration is radiating off him and I just push him away from me, hard.

"Clearly not enough."

"Ivy." He groans and leans against the opposite wall as the elevator slows to a stop.

My eyes roam his face, at the naked vulnerability that suddenly appeared in his green eyes.

He was so conflicted, so torn.

The elevator's doors open and I make the decision for him. I turn to leave. I get one step out of the little metal box and his fingers are suddenly linked with mine and I'm being pulled back into him.

I freeze and so does he.

And then he presses the button to close the doors again, and presses his floor.

We were just staring at each other, tension so thick that I could grab it.

That static, the electricity I felt the first time he ever came close was buzzing around us and no words were exchanged as he linked his fingers through mine and dragged me down the corridor to his room.

This was destructive. But how many times have I said I would let him destroy me?

I'm not going to stop now.

He easily slides the key card over the little handle and drags me into his room. It was pretty much the exact same as mine, not that I really noticed.

Jackson let go of my hand and left me by the door, walking away from me, keeping his back to me and his head hung low.

"Look at me." I whisper and he slowly turns around, his eyes meeting mine and I know he wants me as much as I want him in this moment.

"Just once Jackson."

They flash and he's immediately in front of me. "I don't have a condom Ivy, we so shouldn't do this."

"When was the last time you got tested?"

"Last month."

"I'm on the pill."

"Ivy." He groans at my suggestion and I lean up and place a quick, short kiss on his lips.

"If we are doing this just once Jackson, I want to feel all of you, I want to feel what it feels like to have you come undone inside me."

His lips were on mine before either of us even acknowledged the weight of what was happening. His lips had never tasted this good. I could taste what was happening, I could taste that he was making me his and I couldn't, didn't want to pull away.