A Soft Bully | KTH

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I look at the screen of my phone and my heart begins to beat even way faster. Two more minutes and I'm sweating already.

Couple of minutes passed, now the clock strikes sharp at 12 pm. Not even a second been wasted as my hands are shaking while I key in my ID into the official website. I click the 'submit' button and damn... it's loading. Of course the website's gonna crash because thousands of people out there might logging in to the website at the same time.

And so, I wait while staring at the loading icon. This is taking too long it's not even helps with the nervousness I felt in my chest and stomach. I really want to refresh the page but I'm afraid that it will leads to another site problem where I have to log in again and end up in another painful phase of waiting, so nope!

I guess I'm just gonna have to wait then. Oh well, gotta go and have my lunch first then. Loading page can wait, but growling stomach can't.

I left my room and walk straight ahead to the kitchen. "Hey dad." I greet my dad who's busy cooking in front of the stove.

"Oh hey there. So how's the result of your application?"

I knew he's gonna ask me that. Typical parent.

"It's still loading." I say. "Well you know, thousands of other kids are also shared the same anticipation as mine."

I shrug. Somehow my dad is way more excited to know which university I'm gonna enrolled in than I am. And I'm the one who's getting sad because if I got accepted, my dad's gonna be all alone in this small house.

Yep. It's just me and my dad. My mom? I don't know. I mean, I grew up with my dad in my entire life and there's no one else with us for as long as I remember. I don't know much about her because I never met her, and dad never mention anything about her to me. The last time that we ever spoken about her was when I was twelve and there's a class party where the parents of my classmates were invited. Those people and my classmates asking me about my mom and the only answer I can give was 'I don't know.' My dad was pretty much flustered by them, especially the way they reacted when I responded to them that we had to leave the party so soon. I gathered my courage in asking him the same question those parents asked me, and instead of giving me the answer to my curiosity, he just shook his head. "Iny, promised me that from now on, we are not gonna discuss about this ever again okay?" I was kinda disappointed, but in the end I agreed and therefore we never speak about her again.

Fast forward to present day, here I am sitting at our dining table and having lunch together with dad.

"How about your friend? Have you asked her which university she got accepted?"

I swallow hard the food I chewed in my mouth. And again, I've been expecting this question from him as well. I also knew the friend he mentioned is my Luna, my bestfriend. But it's ex-bestfriend now.

"I don't know. Our friendship was cut off when she starts befriending with that idol long ago."

I straightforwardly give my answer without beating around the bush. Except for the 'befriending with idol part'. She became a sasaeng (obsessive fan/stalker) right before we graduated from high school. I tried to warn her and the consequences if she continues with this unhealthy obsession of hers, but... well, at least I tried. Me and her were not in a good term, so we departed from our ten years of friendship and I got no friend ever since.

"Oh, right. Sorry I forgot. Don't worry you will meet new people in the campus and who knows? You will find a new bestfriend who is far better than your old friend."

I force a smile and let out the most fake laugh I've ever did in my entire life. New friends? Hm... no thanks. I just wanted to get a diploma, and then proceed to degree and lastly get a decent job to make our lives better. That's it.

"Yeah. It all depends on the result of my application. Hopefully it is working by now and we'll see if I ever have the chance to meet new people."

After the lunch, I made myself a nice hot tea and going back to my room again. While taking a sip of my tea, I take a good look at the screen of my laptop. The page is no longer loading, there's too much words and sentence I don't even know where to start.

I have to zoom in a little because the fonts are too small for me to read. I take another sip again as I read the announcement, and...

Congratulations, Iny Kim. You have been accepted to the...

I choke on my tea and accidentally spill it all over my shirt. Ah crap my throat is burning!

"Dad! Dad help!" I cried for my dad, and it only takes few seconds for him to show up at my door, giving me that panic look in his wrinkly face.

"What is it? What's wrong?!"

With the drench shirt I wear and a huge smile on my face I look at him excitingly, and shout, "I got accepted!"

I don't care how loud I am. I'm beyond happy, and so is my dad.

"Really??"

"Yes!" I nod and run up to him. He lifts me a bit higher from the ground and hugging me like his whole life is depending on it.

"Finally! Oh I'm so happy for you dear~" I hear the little crack in his voice as he said it, and I'm trying so hard not to let my tears rolling down my cheeks.

I finally got accepted to one of the top local universities in the country, and by now I already set my goals in mind and planned the journey of my life as a university student.

I'm not really looking forward to make new friend. But I hope that all of the students there are nice.

Most importantly, I gotta stay away from trouble.