love me more <3

chapter 24

by now i was sitting upright looking at my father standing in the doorway

"yeah i couldn't stay away for as long as i wanted" i looked directly at my father observing the expressions on his face. 

my dad and i used to have the best relationship when i was younger, we would do everything together and we were basically inseparable. i remember when he used to take me to the zoo every saturday to see their panda exhibit

we used to take long car rides where we would blast music without a care in the world, he would do my hair and i would laugh at the outcome. i was his little princess but now it's like we're enemies.

"it's nice to see you too kalani" he said eventually breaking eye contact with me as he looked around the room

"nice isn't it?" he observed the room as he spoke

"what?" i asked trying to follow his eyes

"the house, the cars, the neighborhood. you could have it too you know" i knew where this conversation was going and i hated that this would have to be the first conversation i'd have with my dad

i was just trying to get past the time i had here as quickly as possible but he was going to make it hell for me. maybe i'd have to start searching for apartments soon

"you want it don't you?" he asked waiting for a response

"i can get it, the way i want to. not the way you want me to" he looked as if he was growing impatient with me

"i will not sit and allow you to be the downfall of this family kalani. you will go to nursing school and you will do as you're told" he was almost shouting at me and i was becoming uncomfortable

"can you just leave me alone!?, if i had somewhere else to go do you think that i would even be here with you?. i hate everything here including you so the last thing i would want is a drawn out conversation of shit that i've already heard before detailing how i'm ruining your life and your reputation amongst your stuck up 'friends'."

i got up off of the bed keeping the distance between us

i didn't really hate my father, i hated the fact that he thought that he could rule over my life and tell me what to do. my dad cared more about what his rich friends thought about him than actually running his household an honest way

"dr.tyler phd" was the image he painted for himself for people to like him. ever since he got a promotion at the law firm he worked for he stopped being my loving and caring dad, instead he grew to become consumed by money

he wasn't who he used to be and i hate that he took the memories of my father away from me.

i couldn't hold back the tears as they came streaming down my face. i bit my lip and turned my back to my father, i felt him reach his hand out as to comfort me but i shrugged him off.

"leave" i told him placing both my hands on my head as i looked through the window at the overcast sky

"lani i just want to talk" he said with his voice sounding softer than before

"only people close to me get to call me that. i don't know who you are" my back was still turned so i didn't get to see how he reacted but i hope that my words stabbed him as hard as his did me.

i heard the door slam and i crashed on my bed burying my face in one of the pillows. i cried my eyes out soaking the pillow, i was so dumb to think that he would change, to think that maybe one day he would accept that i didn't want what he wanted.

i stayed in bed staring out the window for god knows how long

as the rain started to fall i heard a knock on the door and i saw julius half enter my room, "you have company my luv" he said shifting his body allowing ally to walk in

"julius said that he thought you might need someone over for comfort" she had a slight smile on her face and i looked over at julius who was still at the door

i playfully blew a kiss to him and he pretended to catch it placing it on his heart which made me smile

"wassup bummy" she said sitting on the bed beside me

"dude don't call me that" i threw a pillow at her. bummy was a nickname i had when i was a little girl because when i was a baby i used to always take my diapers off and walk around naked

it got to a point where i had to be potty trained extra early because i would not keep a diaper on. i thought that as i grew the nickname would die down but nope ally has kept it alive.

"okay okay i won't call you that" she pushed me and we both laughed

"did you text aiden letting him know that you got home?" she asked and my eyes widened

with all that had happened since i came home i completely forgot to text aiden and i felt so terrible, i would make sure to text him as soon as ally and i had finished up

"what about you? did you text jay?" i asked directing the question back to her

"nope, he wouldn't be home yet plus i don't think that i'm ready for that" she responded holding her head down as she played with her nails

i knew that this would be one of the hardest things she would have to go through. i have faith in ally's long distance relationship but how well would she be able to hold up was the question.

"you remember when we were younger and our parents made us play at the park after school?. and there was this snobby kid who kept calling me names" she giggled as she tried to help me revisit the memory

"actually i thought about it earlier today, wasn't his name joshua or something?" i asked and she nodded

"i mean he was kinda asking for it, i told him to leave you alone and he didn't so i punched him in his face. just didn't expect to break his nose tho" i said and we both burst out laughing

that was probably the only time i had been in any altercation with anyone, i was too quiet to be in any type of arguments and nobody wouldn't even approach me because of how mean i looked, not that i'm complaining cause i hated every single one of them.

"you still don't have any birthday plans?" she asked and i shook my head no

"come onnnn we need to at least go out for dinner or something" she whined pulling on my hand

"i'm just turning 21 i don't think it's a big deal" i said and her eyes widened. "lani we are going to do something whether you like it or not" she folded her hands and pouted

"hmm okay we're just gonna hang out ight?" i rubbed her shoulder and she reluctantly agreed.

"come on your mom cooked and i'm starving" she said pulling me up out of bed

"umm what about your own mom?" i said laughing and she looked at me

"my mom's latina. she had dinner ready since the sun came up, i ate as soon as i got home and you know that i'm always hungry" we laughed as we head towards the door

i allowed ally to walk out in front of me and i closed the door behind me.