Cherry- H.S

To Be So Lonely.

"To be so lonely, to be so... To be so lonely, to be so"

"And you're just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit he's fucking sorry..."

I write it out, and it feels good. I write the chorus again twice more, and look down at the lyrics.. The loneliness will be hard, but right now I couldn't care less... Right now I just want to be back home...

I get off the plane finally, and feel like I've been traveling so damn much the past few days. Flying to London is tiring in itself even when I slept most of that plane ride, mostly because the person in my mind is tiring... I turn my phone back on, and go straight to baggage claim, waiting and watching as it spins around in circles, just like my life right now. I grab the pink suitcase, and head towards the doors, knowing I need to get an uber. I look down at my phone, and see the missed calls and instantly my heart shoots up. Why the hell is she calling me so much? I call her back instantly, and listen to the call instantly.

"Hello?" I ask, pulling my suitcase to my side.

"Jesus thank fuck, why the hell haven't you been answering?" She speaks out quickly.

"I'm sorry the Atlantic doesn't really have service Sandy." I mumble, and she sighs.

"Darlene I need you to come to your vet... The one you always take Bowie to.." She speaks out, and I freeze.

"Why..." I mumble into the phone.

"Cherry, just get here please." She speaks with urgency, and my heart starts beating rapidly. I wave my arms for a cab after I hang up, and I push in front of people, not caring about any of them, not caring how long they've been waiting for a ride. I push my suitcase through the doors, and get straight in, hearing people yelling and screaming behind me but not caring how pissed they are. I tell the driver the address, and shake my leg, and my foot. My whole body is practically shaking. I'm telling myself not to cry right now, not to expect the worst... He's fine, he'll be fine, he has to be fine.. He has to be fine he has to be fine he has to be fine.

I swear LA traffic seems even worse when you need to be somewhere. I swear the world slows down right at the moments you need it to speed up. As soon as we get to the vet I pull my suitcase out, and run to the doors, going straight inside, searching around until I see Sandy. I've never seen her look so worried, so concerned in her life. My stomach is sinking, and my heart falls where my stomach should be. She walks forward, and wraps me in a hug, and then she surprises me as she starts crying on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what to do and I brought him here as quickly as possible..." She speaks out quickly, and I'm frozen.

"Sandy where is my cat..." I mumble. "What happened to him?" I ask, feeling my own tears. Where is he? He's alive, he has to be okay.. He has to be okay, he has to be okay. He can't fucking die.

"Maybe the vet should-"

"Sandy what the fuck happened to Bowie?" I ask more urgently.

"He was fine, and then he just wasn't... He didn't really eat at all the entire time he was with me I don't know Cherry, I just found him, and he was alive still but he wasn't acting normal, and I brought him here, and he's with the vet right now and I told him I'd bring you back when you got here I didn't ask questions I just-"

"Bring me to him please." I mumble to her, and she pulls me with her, taking me straight back into the animal hospital, and through a door. I walk in, and see Bowie laying down but Sandy is right, he's not my Bowie... He looks sad, and unhappy right now. He's just laying down, curled up right now, and his breathing is quick, and pained. "Hey baby boy hi." I speak to him, and pull the chair from the side close to him, sitting down next to him as he lays on the table.