Dark Phoenix #2: Echoes Of Lies

CHAPTER 30

Chapter 30

I don't know what to do anymore. I was betrayed by the people whom I treasured the most. I wanna puke with the twist and turn of my life. This is not the life I want. Nobody wants this.

Why did I end up like this? All my life, I've been a good girl and I don't deserve this pain. I am already at this point where I hate being me. I hate being Cassandra Marie.

"Are you sure about this?" I looked and dad and nod my head.

"Yes." I smiled and looked down on my choco drink.

I cried already. It lasted for a week. I cried all my pain, the suffering, the hatred and all. Said na talaga ako. Wala nang natira sa akin. I was on the edge now, and just a single will make me fall. Kaya hanggat kaya ko pa, aayusin ko na ang buhay ko. Hanggat may nasa katinuan ko pa ako.

"Hindi ka man lang ba...magpapakita sa kanila? Sa...sa mga kapatid mo?" nahimigan ko ang rahan ng boses ni Papa.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Ilang minuto lamang iyon bago tipid na ngumisi at umiling.

"Kuya Hugh's in the jail. Alam naman niya ang desisyon. We've already talked about this. He agreed, so I'll go."

"You know I'm not talking about Hughes." mariing sabi ni at naupo sa single couch ko.

Inangat ko ang ulo ko at idinerekta sa Papa ko na malamig ang tingin sa akin. Naroon ang pananantiya sa emosyon ko.

"Sino po bang kapatid? Marami po akong kapatid, e."

Hindi ko maiwasang samahan iyon ng pagka sarkastiko but it came out automatically. Nalasahan ko ang pait sa dila ko at gusto ko iyong idura palabas sa bibig ko.

"Sa kanilang lahat."

Peke akong tumawa ng kumirot ang dibdib ko. Sunud-sunod ang naging pag-iling ko ng marahas na nagpatakan ang mga luha kong akala kong naubos ko na sa mga nagdaang araw. Humikbi ako habang paulit-ulit na pinadadaan ang likod ng kamay sa pisngi. My head was downed for a minute before I look up in the ceiling to gasp for air. Malaki ang pagkakabuka ng bibig ko para sa mas maayos na daluyan ng hangin. I bit my lower lip hard until I tasted metal in it.

"A-ayoko po. H-hindi ko y-yata kaya..."

Papa nod slowly, weighing what to say. In the end, he only sighed and caressed my head. The warmth coming from his palm calm me a bit.

"It's okay." Papa whispered and kissed my forehead that is sweaty from all the crying.

Tahimik kong isinilid lahat sa maliit na maleta ang kaunting gamit ko. Nang matapos ay hindi ko mapigiling titigan ang kabuan ng kwartong kasama ko sa pag-iyak nitong mga nakaraang araw. This four-sided room witnessed how wreck I was and still am. This room become my safe zone and comforter.

Three soft knocks made me flinched. Followed by slow opening of the door. Papa, in his three-piece suit enter my room while fixing his tie. Natatawang binitawan ko ang handle ng maleta ko bago lumapot dito at tumulong sa pag-aayos ng tie nito.

"I see, you're busy memorizing your room." Papa said in his normal stern voice.

"I'm just think how this room become my friend that listens to my cries and rants."

Minuto ang lumipas at may multo pa rin ng ngiti ang labi ko nang tapusin ko ang pag-aayos ng necktie ni Papa. Isang hakbang paatras ang ginawa ko at tinitigan ang may katandaan ng mukha ni Papa.

I notice our similarities. We have the same smile, though Papa rarely smile. More like he doesn't smile to anyone. It's just for me. Even when he's talking to my brother casually. Also, the shape of our eyes were alike. We have the same mole under our eyes. Same location and almost invisible.