Haikyuu Chat of Randomness - haikyuu!!chatfic

SHORT

Volleyball!!

[02:24 am]

Tough Guy #2: Hey guys I know that it's 2 am, but, what's worse than heartbreak?

Gameboy: Have you ever woken up and realized that your phone wasn't charging?

Dumb Blond: Stepping on your cats tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry

Gameboy: Kitten doesn't try and eat you?

Dumb Blond: Nope! He's well trained! Whenever I accidentally step on his tail, he ignores me and doesn't listen to me whenever I call him so that I could give him food

Short Demon: I wish that one day when you step on Kitten's tail, you'll be eaten so that there won't be anyone annoying me any more

Dumb Blond: Yaku Morisuke-san, do you want the same thing to happen like the other day when you tried to top me?

Short Demon: Try me!

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Short Demon: Okay so apparently, Lev managed to break down my door and I am now hiding from him

Gameboy: You can't escape from Lev, he has instincts like a cat

Tough Guy #2: Yup

Short Demon: Well shit.... Fuck... Akfnskwbwoa

Tough Guy #2: Well, he's done for. Good night Kenma, I'm going to sleep now

Gameboy: Night

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Nekohoes

Father Cat: LEV!! YAKU!!! IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING AND I DON'T NEED YOU GUYS FUCKING SO EARLY IN THE MORNING!!!

~~~~~~~

Volleyball!!

[07:38 am]

Cat Daddy: Bokuto

Owl Dad/Hoot Hoot: The fuck you want

Cat Daddy: Close your eyes for a second and then open them, and then tell me what you saw

Owl Dad/Hoot Hoot: I saw nothing

Cat Daddy: That's what you are to me

Owl Dad/Hoot Hoot: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT–

The Little Giant: Oh no! Papa owl is having a fight with uncle cat!! Mama owl! Help!

Pretty Owl: What's going on?

Saltyshima: Oh look, great, the two idiots are having a fight

Cat Daddy: Listen here you stupid horned owl, you are nothing to me. Nothing, you hear me, nothing. You are nothing to me, you have never been something to me.

Owl Dad/Hoot Hoot: OH YEAH WELL, I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU HOE ASS BITCH OF A CAT. YOU'RE A GODDAMN HORNY BITCH WHO THINKS ABOUT NOTHING ELSE THAN VOLLEYBALL AND FUCKING.

Cat Daddy: Really then?! Well, you were never my bro! And you will never be my bro! EVER!!

Tough Guy: Woah woah woah, that is really offensive for someone who was your bro

Guardian Deity: Yeah, that's true

Cat Daddy: Oh yeah? Well I don't fucking care, he should've thought twice before throwing dog shit on my favorite shirt.

Pretty Owl: Kuroo-san, I'm sorry but do you have a death wish? May I remind you that I will not hesitate to kill anyone who hurts Bokuto-san

Cat Daddy: Oh shit, I forgot that Akaashi was Bokuto's yandere

~~~~~

Car Ass Saw Hoes

[02:42 pm]

Smol 1: Uh guys help....

Sugamama: Why? What's wrong Hinata?

Smol 1: I'm stuck

Dadchi: Where?

Smol 2: Yeah where Shoyo?

Smol 1: Alright so... I was walking past this playground near the school, there were no children currently playing there so I decided to play there all by myself. So, I went down the slide and my hips are currently stuck at the bottom. I can't move, please send help

Dinosa-Rawr🦕: You sound asstroubled

Smol 1: Dinoshima, shut the fuck up

Yama-gucci: Hey! Don't talk to Tsukki that way!!

Dinosa-Rawr🦕: Shut up, Yamaguchi

Yama-gucci: Sorry, Tsukki

Dadchi: Don't worry Hinata, me and Sugawara are coming for you

~~~~~~~

How do you guys put up with me and my humorless ass? Lol, also, I'm running out of fucking ideas... [inhales] AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!