The Eastern Woman

Since we didn't have any brother, we didn't understand men so well, but from looking at other families, we felt a longing for having a brother to take care of our parents once we are all gone. A son-in-law no matter how caring he is, cannot replace a real son. 

Nonetheless, time kept passing by and we kept learning realities of life. My elder sister also got married that left me without my best friend but she was very happy in her new home. I enjoyed when my married sisters used to come to our house with their little children that brought the air of cheerfulness back to our house. I used to play a lot with my nieces and nephews; our mother used to cook their favorite dishes and our father used to visit market again and again for bringing sweets for the children. I was enjoying our peaceful and simple life because I had never dreamed very big. Little joys made me happy. 

Finally, the time came for my sacrifice, that is, my marriage. The man seemed suitable and the family seemed decent, the rest was fate. At the time of marriage proposal, my in-laws insisted on letting the boy see the girl as it was also permitted in religion, but my father refused by saying he is not so religious and they make take their marriage proposal where the family has no problem letting their daughter meet the man before marriage. Nonetheless, soulmates are made in heaven and you can't change them. I got married and sent to a new home. A girl who always slept beside her mother found her way into a different city, into a new home, surrounded by new people. 

The home was not as I had wished, especially our bedroom was not decorated up to my expectations. I felt disappointed because I had wished for a bedroom decorated with fresh roses. Husband's demeanor also revealed itself with time that was also quite different from expectations. He was a very stubborn and argumentative person. I tried to argue at first but realized it is of no use. On the other hand, my father-in-law took more care of his wife that a son would take care of his mother. Instead of planning for a world trip or carrying out family feasts in the house, I heard stories of my mother-in-law's past illness. 

I was shown my way to the kitchen in two to three days of my marriage where I spent most of my time from there afterwards for quite a long time. All the guests from my mother-in-law's side who attended my marriage ceremony were my guests at this new home now. For a few days, I couldn't get hold of what was happening. May be this was a bad dream? But why wasn't it ending? My mother-in-law had to avoid oily foods; her sister had to avoid spices and every other household member had some unique requirement of his own from the kitchen, that is, from me. On the other hand, my husband was so fed up of his sister-in-law and her fake drama that he wasn't ready to believe my real story as well. 

My mother and sisters thought I wasn't calling home because I was too busy enjoying my new married life. What they didn't know was that I was busy in the kitchen and the only phone in the house was in my mother-in-law's room, so I had to be careful of my choice of words when talking home. As much as I hated humdrum, my new house was all about it. It felt like a zoo in which I am a new addition for everyone to see. But life never stops, it moves on. Good days and bad days, all pass by, however, sometimes the bad days stick a little longer. 

I was daughter of a very patient and forbearing mother, so I had to kept her reputation. Since I couldn't take care of my own parents, I took care of my parent-in-laws as much as I could. My husband was busy making his career and used to come home late at night. My mother-in-law was peevish and depressed due to her poor health and no matter how much I took care of her, she always talked ill about me to my father-in-law. All this environment made me depressed as well. 

The worst came in summers when all schools and colleges of my in-laws were off and then they had only one place to go, our house which was like a picnic point for them. No one was there to support me, and I had to do all work on my own. Those first 10 years of my marriage were very taxing on my mind and health as I had no peace. Time passes by but a woman never forgets such days. Our neighbors used to think this new girl does so much work, may God give such a girl to every household. 

I used to visit my father's house once a year. My mother used to ask me why my skin had gone pale and although I wanted to tell her all the reasons why it is, I used to think there are only two ways in front of me. One was to leave the marriage and come back to my father's house and the other was to remain patient for now and expect a better future. Since I made the latter choice because I couldn't become a burden on my parents, I found it unfruitful to tell all the stories to my mother and make her worrisome as well. So, I used to just enjoy that month which I spent at my home. 

As time passed by, God bestowed me with two beautiful sons who became the center of my life. I used to feel proud that I am mother of two boys. My husband also understood me better with time and was also getting fed up of guests visiting so frequently. He was also realizing his parent's bias towards me, but neither could their attitude be changed in that age nor did he want to hurt his parents' feelings. Some men usurp the rights of their wives in the fulfillment of rights of their parents and my husband was one of them. 

I could write a lot but I don't want to hurt my husband's feelings at this stage of life because I know how much he loves me, however, neither did he know how to express it then nor does he know how to do it now. He also knows that I have spent life with one of the most difficult men of his family and he laughs at it when I say that. I have stood by his side in all highs and lows of life and today he is my strong support. I pray to God for his health and well being. The woman of the east gives highest value and status to her husband, but does the eastern man return the favor? I know that it is hard for a man to admit his mistake. However, if I had left everything and returned to my father, would I ever get here where I am today? Would I have had my beautiful young boys? Would I be able to have a loving husband today who supports me and is willing to do anything for our sons? I would have certainly disturbed the life of myself, my husband and my children. I am very content with my life today because of the correct decisions I took early in my marriage and because of the upbringing of my parents. 

I always remember my parent-in-laws as well when I pray for forgiveness of my own parents. I am highly respected in my in-laws and they always remember me in very good words even behind my back. My patience in youth has returned me with contentment and satisfaction today. 

I believe Patience and forbearance are the greatest qualities for an eastern woman; however, these qualities have been lost in modern girls. I want to get this message across to young women reading this story that life is not a bed of roses where you fulfill all your dreams and wishes. A good life requires a lot of sacrifices. Always remember that a man can make a house, but only a woman can make it a home.