Conditional - {Kylo Ren X Reader}

Chapter 19

You weren't sure when or how long it had been but Kylo had returned, his mask not even sparing you a glance as he charged into the room. The ambience in the room as uninviting as it was when you first met him. You stayed still, like a deer in headlights watching his every move as he watched yours. Your heart raced but your mind raced faster as you tried to prepare for the unexpected. After you had shared your true feelings with him he had left you, alone in his quarters and it felt like someone had stabbed you in the heart. Your throat tightened and so did your jaw as you imagined Kylo impaling you with his lightsaber and what a relief that would be, you thought. His feet echoed through the room as he paced in front of you, his shoulders tight in anger and you heard the huffs from his mask. His voice modulator sending chills through your body as he spoke,

"Why!" he questioned, you stayed silent struggling to think of a reply, you didn't dare breath lessening the threat of his fury. "The one time I want you to talk and you have nothing to say?"

You fiddled with your hands trying to calm yourself before you lost control. He stopped and turned to face you, his leather finger raising to point straight at you, "Answer me,"

You stuttered trying to get the words out of your mouth, "Wh-why are you being like this?" you stayed tranced on your hands, too fearful to look at him

"Why am I being like this?" he laughed

"If you want to have this conversation take off your mask," you whispered

"No,"

"I want to talk to you, not your mask," you said. He considered you for a moment, unsure of what his next move should be.

"I don't care what you want," his words dripping with anger. You finally looked up at him now, hoping that you were just imagining things, that everything would be back to normal if you could call it that. But of course, it wasn't and despite everything else you had been through this moment was the one you feared the most. You were sure that any wrong move, any wrong word would push him away forever.

"Please, Kylo," you felt your eyes begin to water and you tried to blink them away as Kylo stayed frozen in front of you. He watched you, analyzed you and the situation unfolding in front of him.

"No, you don't realise what you have done," he began to say.

"What do you mean? Shared my true feelings for you, how has that got such a great impact?" you questioned, you were mind was hurting just trying to make sense of his words

"You don't understand," it was like his entire energy changed, his body language was less intimidating now

"Then let me understand," you stepped towards him now, a new confidence spiking within you

"No, I can't," he took a step back as you reached closer. But you didn't care, you were inches away from him and he stopped still, the only noise was the quiet breaths coming from his mask. You took in a breath and reached for his mask, your fingers found the locks on the sides and just like you had seen him do so you pushed your fingers up into them and the locks popped open, you lifted it off his head and were met with a pair of scared and bruised eyes. He looked terrified and your mind flashed to when you had found him in a pool of his own blood on Starkiller base. His eyes struggled to focus on your face they were looking everywhere but your eyes. You dropped his mask beside you, a thud echoing through the room breaking the silence and you cupped his face in your hands.

"What are you so afraid of?" you whispered. His eyes flashed with worry and your heart rate quickened, you had finally accepted your feelings and no one, not even the man you loved would stop you. "Kylo," you said grabbing his chin your hand trying to snap him out of it. As your words fell off your tongue his eyes finally focused on you, the eye contact sending your nerves into overdrive. You looked down at his pouting lips, you wondered what was going through his mind, what he was truly feeling at this moment.