Early Mornings And Weary Eyes

Chapter 07: Lady Gone Mad

Chapter 07: Lady Gone Mad

Third Person's POV

Max can't even remember the last time that she laughed. Eversince college ended, she lost her lovely laugh. Her cute chuckles. Her adorable smile. All gone, thanks to Max's fucked up reality.

But now, reading the first few chapters of her first story, she chuckled. She even laughed. With a tear stained face, she laughed. Remembering that guy's unusual ways just to get her. Remembering their beginning, the start of her first love story-and probably the last.

Reading those few chapters made her realize something, that the Max in the past is very different to the Max right now. Gone was the adorable goofy girl with eyes full of joy. Gone wSas thw dreamer, the risk-taker, the passionate Max that evwryone loved back then.

That makes her wonder what really happened. Bakit nga ba naging ganito siya?

Why did she kill her old self?

Uh yeah, that incident happened. That night that they chose to break each other, falling apart in the process.

Thinking that, Max started to tear up. She let the tears flow down. Sabi nila, crying is good for the soul daw. But for Max, crying is the only sign, reminder, that she is still living. She's still striving to fix her messed up life and not just barely existing.

Because for Max, to live just to only breath is nonsense. A total waste of time and space.

She covered her mouth using both of her hands as she sobs. She spent the rest of the day crying, and maybe a little regretting.

She wants to ask herself if what she did three years ago is worth it. So yeah, Max, is it worth it?

Obviously, the answer is no. Kung pwede lang lumabas ang konsensya ni Max mula sa katawan niya ay nasampal na siya nito ng ilang daang beses habang pinagsisigawan na tanga siya. Fortunately for Max, hindi iyon posibleng mangyari. Hindi siya masasampal.

But is it really a good thing kung siya naman ang nananakit sa sarili niya?

She killed her old self already and now, there's a sprouting idea in her mind to kill her present self. She stared at the cuts on her wrist. Thin, long, five cuts can be vividly seen on her wrist. Will she do it again? Is she brave enought to do it again?

Am I brave enough?

The answer, again, is no. So she lay herself down on her bed. Hugging her knees as she spent the night crying. Whispering to herself her worried, anxieties, regrets, and of course, her endless what ifs and maybes.

And just like any other day, Max ended up with only one thing. Realizing that she, is indeed, fucked up.