Before We Turn to Stone

Season 16, Episode 21: Now or Never Now

"Because the last time I let myself feel this way

It was a long, long time ago.

And now we get so scared, and we get so scared

To be nowhere left alone.

Because it's now or never now

It's now or never now, now, now..."

* * *

The eternal struggle in Izzie Stevens' house is finding the last place she left her keys. She has dumped out the entire contents of her purse and the portfolio where she keeps the files she brings home, turned over Eli and Alexis's room, and started to dig through her makeup bag when Anh rushes into her bathroom, waving the keyring victoriously over her head.

"Oh thank God," Izzie half-laughs. "Where were they?"

"Fruit bowl," Anh answers.

"Because of course they were!"

The two women walk down the hall to where the twins are waiting less-than-patiently, lunchboxes in hand, backpacks on shoulders. Izzie sweeps them up in a hug and kisses them both on their cheeks.

"Have a great day at school, okay?" she tells them, picking a stray toast crumb off of Eli's shirt. "I'll be home around dinnertime."

"Mom, wait." Alexis holds up her hand before Anh can shepherd them out the door. "Is Dad going to come back?"

Izzie's heart clenches, but she forces a casual smile to her face. "Of course he is! What did he tell you on the phone last night?" she asks.

"That he would come over after school."

"And?" Izzie prompts, tucking a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear.

"And that we could order pizza for dinner," Eli chimes in.

"And that he would stay and put you to bed, right?" Izzie reminds them.

Alexis huffs. "Right," she says, but her tone is sulky. She fiddles with her purple and orange lunchbox for a minute before she rushes to add, "We haven't seen him in a really long time! Are you sure he's going to come?"

Izzie glances over to Anh, who spreads her hands helplessly and nods. Ah, she thinks, reading the sign. So this has come up already this morning.

She crouches down to eye level with her daughter, reaching out to take both twins' hands. "You saw him two days ago at bedtime," she reminds them gently. "And he FaceTimed you during breakfast yesterday."

"But then he didn't come over at all yesterday," Alexis protests.

Eli doesn't speak, but he studies his mother's face with clever, careful eyes as he waits for her to respond.

Izzie proceeds gently. "I know how you feel. We had a really fun weekend all together, and now he's only coming over for a little bit at a time. That's not really the same as having him here with us all day, is it?" she asks them.

They shake their heads.

"But you know," she goes on, squeezing their hands, "your dad is trying to make it so he can see you a lot more often... and unfortunately that means doing a lot of boring grownup stuff, like going to meetings and looking at houses and talking to a bunch of people. He's got to do that now so hopefully he can spend a lot more time with you really soon. And that's going to be so, so awesome, right?"

"Right!"

"So let's just give Dad some time to take care of all his grownup stuff, okay? Okay?" she prompts when they don't answer.