crackhead oneshots

The death of Albus dumblfuck🔥🌌

So um basically I was chatting with two of ma friends (I think one of them was high on eyeshadow) and one decided she wanted to add 'tom marvolo' to her name,and so she made a mini crackshot and I asked to turn it into a oneshot.....so yah.....enjoy

It was a dark and stormy night,Albus percival wolfric dumbledore sat at his desk and wrote his name down on a piece of paper.

"no one will ever have a name as long as me.." he laughed, setting the paper down. tom burst into the room. Filled with determination and spite, her eyes flared with drama. "it is i, your worst enemy! i am tom marvolo riely daniella emily!" silence...

"Ok how about a little bit more flare yah know?" her blue eyed friend, Nicky stated with a sirius face. Shadow their other friend that just happened to be at the wrong place at the right time, with a camara, nodded her head. "yah dude, I have 50 bucks on the line here."

dumbledore gasped, dramatically put his hand on his head and screamed, in a high girlish voice. "What in the name of lemon drops!! How did you get in the castle?!?!?"

"Bitch shut the fuck up, don't speak let her finish." Nicky stated in an amused yet bored tone. "Or else I will 'avada kadevra' you into in your grave early, ok you little pussy bitch?" Shadow snickered at this, berally able to contain her laghing. "Ok, you can continue Tom."

"Thanks, 'he hem', it is i, your worst enemy! I AM TOM MORVOLO RIELY DANIELLA EMILY!!!!" she hesitated, "was that good?" She wispered to Nicky "ye it was perfect ma main bitch." Nicky said with a smirk.

Meanwhile shadow, ever the more normal of the three, was dieing of laughter in the background with her camera filming everything. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, ANSWER MEEEEE." dumblfuck raged. "Wait--- why aren't you all in your dorms asleep? What houses are you all in I'll have to deduct points for this nonsense."

The Hufflepuff and two Slytherins,( I really don't know why I'm a griffenpuff I'd be better as a Slytherpuff) stared at him in disbelief. Shadow ever the smarted and more sane of her two other friends said, "first off fuck you, second you can't tell us what to do, got it?"

Dumblfuck stared in disbelief at the trio, his insides raged. "HOW DARE YOU ORDER ME, THE SAIVIOR OF THE WORLD, LEADER OF THE LIGHT, OWNER OF TH---" he was cut off by Nicky and her logically stupid mouth. "I'll charge you with rape." "and child harassment." Tom butted in.

He hesitated, "ok I'm listening, what do you want?" Tom continued with a goofy grin on her face turned to Nicky and asked, "can you---" "no I will not use that whenever you want, it's only when I feel like dealing with the shit behind it. Can you just finish up so that I can kill him then sleep already?" Tom looked disappointed, and then kinda pissed. "Hey, who said that you were gonna kill him, I wanted to---" Nicky pu a hand on her mouth to shut her up

"Tell me who's crackshot book this is?" A muffled "yours" could be heard from Tom's mouth. Nicky removed her hand, and tom pointed out, "but I gave you the idea for both this crack shot and the last one." "And who's the one that's writing this crackshot?" Nicky asked.

Meanwhile while the two crackhead bitchs were arguing over who was gonna kill dumblfuck, shadow had sat down with dumbles and was munching on popcorn. "Are they always like this?" Dumblfuck asked it a perplexed tone. "Yah, pretty much." She answered in an amused tone.

"Then how are they friends if they argue all the time over stupid stuff like this?" Dumblfuck asked still not getting how they could be friends if they argued all the time. "Beats me, but somehow its usually funny for the rest of us to watch."
She answered.

Shadow tuned her head to look at dumbles, and asked him in a very Sirius tone. "Can I just kill you? I mean do you really wanna sit here and listen to them plot your death or do you want it over with already?" Dumblfuck looked at her, and then back at the two girls infront of him.

He thought about his situation, it ended in him most likely dieing anyways. "Alright, atleast make it quick." He stated, shadow nodded her head and pulled out a green apple. "Hey Tom, can you toss me the knife?" "Yeah sure." Tom answered, not really paying attention to hers and dumblfuck's convo. "Thanks, okay, any last words?" Shadow asked the old man infront of her. "Not really no."

Shadow looked at him and shrugged. "That's fine with me dude, welp, hope you hate hell. Good night bitch." Shadow then stabbed him right the heart. at this point Nicki and Tom conveniently stopped arguing, at the sound of flesh squishing.

"WHAT THE SHIT--I WANTED TO KILL HIIIIM?!?!?" Tom said angrily. Nicky just stared at the now decaying corpse, with a big ass smile on her face. "Can I stab his eyes out?" "NO" both shadow and tom screamed at her. "Eh worth a shot." Nicky shrugged.

All of a suden the trio herd the sound of the gargoyle moving, they decided that I was time to get the fuck outa there. And so they left, and auther Nicky could finally GO TO FUCKING SLEEP CAUSE ITS 2:06 AM--- he hem, sorry about that. But yah they telaported to the future back to their houses.

And yah....what did you want more? BITCHS it's A FUCKING SCHOOL NIGHT. I have shit like the hell that Is school to go to in morning.

Also credit to -tomriddIe for giving me the idea, and writing the initial crackshot -3-. and thanks Expresso_Depresso301 for going along with our shit, so go follow both of them plz, and submissions are always open so if you have any ideas that are part of the: Harry potter,Sander Sides, and My hero academia fandoms plz submit to me.

Thanks for reading,

Nicky💛🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈🖤