Why am i not good enough

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why am I in this world when hardly anyone wants me here. My best friends group, gone .... My new friends group, shut me out. I feel like a child who doesn't get his way. I feel too much, so I don't feel much anymore. I wish everything was back to the way it was. When nothing was wrong yet. When I still endure everything. Now that I am here, I really feel how important the people around me are to me. And now I see more how annoyed they are with the fact that I deal with them more. I'm not important enough now. But if they knew what I'm in now, I'd be all of a sudden. Would I be the child in the center. But what changes that? Nothing! Nothing will ever change. I always wouldn't stay good enough. It would always be my last thought. Until I haunt their heads forever. And they can never talk to me again. Then I am important. Then I would always be missed. But is that a solution? Or is that the beginning of more problems?

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