Endure and Survive (Sequel to How We Live Now)

Chapter 4

He sighed.

"Come inside. Beth, honey. Go on and take her inside," he said.

Beth and Maggie took my arms and guided me to where they stayed.

"There's a lot that we need to catch you up on," Beth said.

"Well now that I'm here, you can," I said.

When we walked into the cellblock, I was shocked to see some other people that I didn't recognize.

"Um, hello there," I said raising my hand awkwardly.

They just nodded.

"Let me show you where we stay," Maggie said.

"What's their story?" I asked.

"They found a break in the back of the prison while Rick and the others went to get you. We were just waiting for you guys to come back to decide what we should do. I think they ought to stay. They seem okay," Beth said.

"You can't be too careful these days," I said softly.

"Hold on. Let me check on Judith," Beth said.

She went upstairs and I looked toward Maggie.

"Judith?" I asked.

"Lori had her baby. A girl," she said.

"Really? That's wonderful. Where is she? Is she resting?" I asked.

Maggie then got real quiet.

"Maggie?" I said.

"Lori...Lori died giving birth," she said softly.

I cupped my hand over my mouth.

"What?" I said.

"Kari...I was there...I was there. I helped deliver the baby...I wish...I wish there was something more I could have done," she said starting to break down.

"Oh, Maggie. Come here," I said.

I embraced her tightly.

"I can't even imagine what Carl and Rick are going through," I said once we parted.

"Carl was the one that killed her," she said softly.

"What?" I asked.

She just nodded. He was just a kid. The amount of ugliness that he has seen since the farm was unbelievable. The sound of Beth coming down the stairs got me to focus on the now again. In her arms was a baby wrapped in a blanket and squirming around.

"She just woke up," Beth said.

"May I?" I asked.

Beth handed Judith to me and I was in awe the second I laid eyes on her.

"Hi there, Judith. I'm Kari," I said, grinning from ear to ear.

I kissed her forehead and she cooed.

"She's so precious. And she was born here?" I asked.

"Yeah. She's only a few weeks old," Beth said.

I sighed.

"I wish I had been here," I said.

"I wanted to come with Rick and the others but daddy convinced me not to. Glenn wanted to go too but I convinced him not to," Maggie said.

I looked at her.

"The two of you are really something else aren't you?" I retorted.

"I love him, Kari. I really do," she said.

"I'm happy for the two of you. Just know that if he messes up, he'll have me to answer to," I said.

"Understood. So, how'd you end up in that place anyway?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"It's uh...It's a really long story that I don't feel like getting into," I said, starting to gently rock Judith in my arms.

"But, Kari..." Beth started.

"I said not now," I said fiercely.

I could tell they were shocked by the look on their faces. I took in a deep breath and released it.

"I'm sorry. I'm tired. It's been a long day," I said.

"We understand," Beth said.

"We're just glad that you're back with us. Back where you belong," Maggie said.

"And I'm happy to be reunited with all of you," I said.

The sound of the cellblock doors opening caused us all to look up. I handed Judith back to Beth and went up to Rick.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea," I said softly.

He patted me on the back.

"Thank you," he said.

He then went over to Judith. I knelt down and gave Carl another hug.

"How are you holding up?" I asked, leaning back to look at him.

"I'm fine," he said.

"It's okay if you're not. You know that, right?" I asked.

"Kari, I'm fine. I did what had to be done. I couldn't let...couldn't let her turn into one of them. I just...I couldn't," he said shakily.

"I know. Come here," I said pulling him in for another hug.

The sound of Judith crying got me to part from Carl and look toward her. Rick was holding her in his arms and the crying became too much for him. He handed her back to Beth and he placed one of his hands on his head.

"Rick? Are you alright?" I asked going up to him cautiously.

He was looking at me but I could tell that he wasn't really seeing me.

"Rick," I said again.

I reached out to place a hand on his cheek but he quickly backed away. I held both my hands up, making sure that he knew I didn't mean him any harm. He then looked toward the top floor of the cellblock.

"What do you want?" he asked.

I looked in the direction he was. There was no one there. By this time, Glenn, and Hershel had come back.

"Rick, there's no one there," I said calmly.

"Why are you here?!" he shouted.

I had everyone back away.

"Rick, please. Focus on what's in front of you," Hershel said.

Rick shook his head and began to pace back and forth. He then went over to where the other group had been waiting, still looking up.

"What do you want?" he asked again.

There was silence and concerned glances shared between our groups.

"You're not there. You're not there," he repeated.

He placed his fingers between the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Rick," I said again.

I went up to him and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Get out... GET OUT!" he shouted.

I quickly backed away.

"Okay...I think you guys need to leave. Just go," Glenn told the other group.

"GET OUT!" Rick shouted again.

"Go," Glenn said again.

The group grabbed their belongings and headed out the door. I could have gone out to apologize to them on our behalf but I had to figure out what was happening with Rick. He was now pacing back and forth, not taking his gaze away from the second floor. I went over to Hershel.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked softly.

"Ever since Lori," he said.

It made sense now. He was seeing her. He was seeing his dead wife.