"𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙢𝙚, 𝙄 𝙗𝙚𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪." || Amasai.

5-11-20 || You know

Normally on weekends, Rantaro would be busy at home taking care of his sisters, but he got dragged out of his house by Kaede and Kokichi.

"What have you done to Shuichi? We haven't seen him all weekend." Kaede demanded, stomping her foot. "Look, I think your attempt to protect your boyfriend is cute, but you got the wrong guy. I haven't seen the Fag all weekend either." Kaede puffed out her cheeks. "He's not my boyfriend. And, I'm probably going to regret asking this, but can you help us find him?" Rantaro was a little worried, but he just scoffed. "He's probably in his house. Little emo shit always keeps to himself. I dunno how you guys put up-" He was cut off by a blow to his face. He staggered back to see a certain smaller purple-haired male. "Listen here, asshole. You're gonna help us find Shumai, or SO HELP ME I WILL FUCKING TEAR OUT YOUR NERVES." Kokichi demanded, malice and frustration in his voice. Rantaro just smiled and stood. "You little shit. That hurt." Kokichi didn't back down. Rantaro chuckled. "Fine. I'll help you find the Fag. Just don't expect me to get all buddy-buddy with him." Rantaro huffed. Kokichi relaxed, lowering his fist. He also heard a sigh of relief from Kaede.

The group decided to split up, searching places Shuichi normally goes. His house, the library, his uncle's house, places like that. Of course, Rantaro got assigned Shuichi's house. So, he walked down the all too familiar block that led to Shuichi's house. When arriving at his doorstep, Rantaro rapped his knuckles on the door as loud as he could to get Shuichi's attention. He stood for a moment. No response. He tried again and waited. Still no response. He kept trying until he became impatient."Alright, fine! I'm coming in, Fag!" He turned the handle. Locked, of course. He sighed and stepped back. He lifted his leg and, with all his might, kicked the door. It easily flew off its hinges. He stepped inside and looked around. It was dark like no one has been here for a while. Rantaro took another step. "Shuichi...?" He called. No response still. "Is he not here...?" Rantaro walked over to the stairs. "His room should be up here," he muttered.

Rantaro walked for a little while before coming across a door. It had old polaroid pictures tacked to it. The pictures had Kaede, Kokichi, and Shuichi in them. They all looked so happy. Though, there was one picture underneath all of them. It was a picture of Rantaro and him. It was in the fourth grade. The two boys were on top of the monkey bars. Rantaro remembered it. They were playing family. Shuichi and Rantaro were the mom and dad and they were on a "date" away from their "kids". The picture brought a smile to Rantaro's face. He missed hanging out with Shuichi. He continued to stare at it before snapping back to reality. "Right. Shuichi is missing." He shook his head and looked at the doorknob. This has to be Shuichi's room. So, Rantaro took a breath and turned the knob, slowly opening the door.

(slightly triggering ahead :>)

Rantaro could feel his heart stop. The sight in front of him...

There was Shuichi, a rope attached to his neck as he hung on the ceiling fan. There was a stool under him, tipped over. Rantaro just stood there. "S-Shuichi...?" He squeaked. His face was bare and pale. More pale than usual. His eyes were dull, the gold color now a faded grey. His hair was messy and his clothes were ragged like he gave up long before he kicked the stool. Rantaro dropped to his knees. "N-No..." He looked down. He could feel as a multitude of tears started to fall from his eyes. "I-It's... my fault... He's gone... because of me..." He muttered. Suddenly, he felt his throat swell. He lost his ability to breathe. He gripped his chest, trying to steady his breathing. He coughed and gagged, but he couldn't steady himself. After a while, his vision blurred and everything went black.

----

Rantaro shot up. He looked around. He was... in his bed? He looked at his phone. Quickly, he grabbed it and tapped the contact app. He tapped Shuichi's contact and tapped the call button.

Riing...

Riing...

"H-Hello...?"

Rantaro let out a sigh of relief. "Holy fuck. It was just a dream." He muttered to himself. "W-What was just a dream...?" He heard the male on the other line respond. Rantaro let out a shaky breath. "N-Nothing, Fag... I j-just... I wanted to check something." Rantaro ran a hand through his hair. "H-Hey, Saihara...?" He heard a light gasp on the other line, most likely from Rantaro referring to Shuichi as "Saihara". "I w-want you to know uh... Shit this is gonna sound hella cheesy.... Just know that... There are other reasons to live. Don't just ditch everything because of some asshole like me." Rantaro frowned and pulled the phone away from his ear. He heard Shuichi go "R-Rantaro, I-" before Rantaro hung up. He set his phone back on his nightstand and let out another breath. "Damn... That fucked me up..." He muttered. He knew that could have actually happened. And it would have been his fault. Shuichi's death would have been Rantaro's fault because he's a selfish asshole that's too self-absorbed to care about the boy he loves. He would have killed the boy he loved.  Rantaro shuddered. No. He's not gonna think about that. 

He stood and glanced at his closet. He walked over to it and swung open the doors. There were clothes all over the floor. He just grabbed the nearest ones. A black t-shirt and black ripped skinny jeans. He shrugged and looked around a little bit more. He then spotted his navy blue flannel and grabbed that too. He got dressed, t-shirt on, pants on, then he wrapped the flannel around his waist. After he was done he headed downstairs to see his sisters doing their morning business. Rantaro smiled happily and joined his sisters. "Thank god it was all a dream..."

{1019 words. FVYGBHJNKML okay- It took forever to write this, idk why- uh ya'll also got some angst and like- I just love to tease ya'll like that ;> Welp, bye-anora!}