Confessions of a Teenage Alcoholic

Chapter 6

"Of course, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate it."

"Mum, do you know where that unit 6 workbook went?" Jackson's voice startles me and even his mum looks surprised.

He walks out into the garden and pauses when he sees me sitting next to his emotional mother.

She told me he wasn't going to be here. I've literally been here ten minutes if that.

"Oh Jackson. I thought you were out." She says and wipes her eyes clearing them of any tears that she had previously been trying to home back.

Jackson makes a noise from deep in the back of his throat, roughly translated to 'clearly'.

"I invited Ivy round for a cup of tea. And yes, I do know where that is, I'll just go and grab it."

"No, it's fine. Just tell me where It is." He says stiffly and I am still sat here feeling as if I had been caught doing something I shouldn't have been.

I shouldn't have invaded his house I guess.

Why would he care? His mother inviting a stranger round shouldn't affect him.

If he didn't care then he wouldn't care that I was here.

"Oh nonsense, you won't be able to find it. I'll just go and grab it, I'll be right back Ivy."

She gets up from her seat and leaves us alone, she always used to do that. Now it's ten times more awkward.

Silence. 

That surprisingly, Jackson breaks. 

"Why are you here?" He says. "Why was she crying?"

I pause. I missed his voice a lot. Which I know I shouldn't be thinking about, but I am. So much happened here.

"Jackson you said you don't care." I remind him and he shakes his head at me, jaw ticking in frustration.

"I do if you're making my mother cry."

"Oh Jackson you know I'd never, she wasn't upset she was happy."

Jackson studies me quickly and there's no reason to look away. I knew he was studying my face for the truth so I leave myself truly open for him.

"Why are you here." He grits out again and I am so surprised that he's letting me see that he is openly uncomfortable with the fact I am in his house.

He looks stressed and I can't help but worry.

"I just bumped into her. Are you ok?" I ask quietly.

Knowing I shouldn't care if he was ok or not, but caring anyway.

Jackson's eyebrows furrow and the blank look settles over his face again. It's almost as if he goes numb to me, that he just chooses to stop feeling.

"That's none of your business." He says and I sit back on my chair.

I am so confused. None of my business if he's ok or not? I mean I guess so. But does that mean he's not ok.

He doesn't seem ok.

But is that just because he hates me? And he's found me sitting in his garden surrounded by his siblings making his mother emotional.

Because that would make sense.

"Jackson." I stress, my voice coming out pained because I wish things would just get less complicated.

Was I stupid to think everything would just get swept under the carpet when I came back here. That I could just carry on with my life and just move on.