𝐑𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐃 / bungō stray dogs x reader anthology

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ✧ 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

Opening your eyes, you let out a long sigh, your breath leaving your lips in a puff of mist, calming your racing heart. There were a surprising amount of people even simply around the park, and having been careless in your action, you had inadvertently reached out to all of them, their minds flooding with yours, emotions clouding and conflicting with each other until you could barely tell the difference between your own mind and that of a stranger's.

Blinking rapidly you shook your head in an attempt to loosen those thoughts from your own. What a stupid mistake you had made, and this was no place for any sort of break down, the mere thought of that humiliation was enough to make your breath fall short, your throat tightening as the air left your lungs in a rough gasp. You needed an anchor, normally you might latch onto your brother's subconscious, your fingers entwining with his own, but your bother was nowhere near you now and it wasn't as though you was about to search for an anchor within that sea of thoughts and feelings.

Besides one, finding a mental anchor wasn't a particularly pleasant thing. It was an invasion of privacy, on both accounts, but a panic attack wouldn't exactly be a pleasant thing right now.

Man. Man. Child. Woman. Child.

Father. Son. School-girl. Daughter. School-boy.

Getting to your feet, you moved hurriedly from where you had been sitting, making for the nearest exit of the park. The sun peeked out from behind another cloud, the warm rays sending an odd chill down your spine. But while your body was there, making for the street, where surprisingly few cars and people alike lingered, your mind was elsewhere. Rather than join your body in acknowledging the sunlight on your skin; the feel of your clothing; the steady reality of the ground beneath your feet, it searched the see of consciousness which flooded the subconscious streets - like an invisible river - not a stream, no, like a harsh and storm-driven rapid of thoughts, and you were searching frantically for something to latch onto as to avoid beings swept up in the rapids.

Your breath came short in your throat, as though you had just run a mile, not simply walked a few meters. Exiting the park you closed your eyes, pressing a hand lightly against your breast, counting your heartbeat as it slowed to a reasonable pace once more.

The process of blocking everything out once more was a delicate one - done all at once could be detrimental for both yourself and those around you, but done too slowly and you'd get caught up into the rapids once more. So rather you focused on one thing at a time, locking your body into place, your rock to hold your place, confirmation you were real. And slowly you closed your mind to each of the people around you - not quite fully, you would always have that ability, the one that allowed you to sense the surface level emotions of those around you in your own subconscious, whether you liked it or not - until there was one left.

And for some odd reason, you found yourself hesitating, for it was though you were looking in a mirror - mind you that mirror was initially cracked and distorted, but a mirror nonetheless - for you saw a mind so like your own, that it almost scared you.

Almost.

But there was still something off about the whole situation, for as the mirror straightened out, clearing, the cracks clearing you found something like pity, though perhaps that wasn't the right word for it, surge through you. Not because this person's mind was broken, no it wasn't, not quite. Rather it was as though something, something foreign which should not be there, as though a demon had seized this stranger's mind, attempting to dig it claws into the invisible flesh of their consciousness, desperate to shake and rake them of any positivity, of hope, of any good emotion.

Opening your eyes, you frowned, it bothered you, rather violently, that something such as that... demon dared to plague some stranger's mind. For no matter how villainous a person may be, they are not worthy of having such a demon overtake them.

Turning away completely from the park, you continued on your walk, you had a job to do, unfortunately, whether you liked it or not, you was roped too deep into this... conspiracy wasn't the right word, nor was controversy, what to call it really you wasn't sure, but you was all wrapped up in the middle of some plot now. There were days in which you would regret agreeing to come to Petersburg, a pact that not even your brother was aware you had made. For you was, and always had been, a talented liar, being able to mask emotions, thoughts and actions, coming as naturally as breathing but something like this mess, perhaps that was going a step too far.

But your thoughts and worries didn't change the fact that you had made a deal, but with an encounter with that man only having taken place a few weeks prior, that deep-seated fear had lodged itself into your heart. What if you dragged your brother in too far? You had no wish for your brother to die, or fall victim to anyone's horrid actions. You had agreed to come to Petersburg under a certain guise, one you had kept a secret from your brother, this web of lies that was getting larger by the day, tangling further, the messy not growing with no end in sight, and there was nothing you could do about that now.