Love Wins

Chapter 3: He Loved Me?

I threw all of my stuff against the walls, wondering how God would allow this to happen. My life was going just fine until now. He was supposed to be the God of love and peace, yet how would this be called peaceful?

That's when I realized that one of my favorite photos fell to the ground and shattered. I stumbled over to it, hoping that it didn't have too much damage done.

But it wasn't the damage that caught my eye. It was an old looking, folded up piece of paper. The weird thing was, I didn't see that when my friend put the picture in the frame. I picked it up, and unfolded it slowly.

"Jay, I wanted to say that no matter what happens, you will always be loved. Me and my family all love you, and so does the Lord. I don't know when you'll find this. Wow, I don't even know  if  you'll find this, but always know that no matter what, the Lord will always love you. If you have any doubt, or any hate, he'll be their. Oh, and, I know you didn't see me put this here, but that is because I am a handsome magician.

Love YOU lots, 

Cole"

That started my waterworks again. I could always count on Cole for anything. He had been BFF ever since I was a child, but ever since we moved, I haven't seen him. It was hard, not being with the only guy that made me happy, other than my father (earthly and heavenly). And he didn't have a phone, so we couldn't talk. At all.

That's when I decided that I wouldn't be letting my crazy-depressed-monkey out on the walls. Not now, when what I needed to do was listen to the Lord.

I picked up my Bible from the floor, after not realizing in my craze that I threw that, too. I sat down on my bed and flipped it open to the page I had bookmarked. But the bookmark wasn't in the right place. I figured that it wouldn't hurt to read from there.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt has lost his savour, where with shall be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.

Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

(Matt. 5.3-16)

I read it over again, not wanting to miss anything. The whole thing worked with my insides, like it was picking up all of the broken pieces of my heart and putting it all together again.

I looked back at the note that was hidden in the picture, and my eyes were drawn to where it said 'Love YOU Lots'.

Wait a second.

He loved me?

I shook my head. He couldn't have meant it that way. Could he?

Before I could have a mental breakdown over this, I went to the bathroom to get washed up. The shower didn't help, though, since that's my usual 'thinking-about-all-of-the-stuff-that-has-happened-and-then-some' spot. And yeah, a lot has happened.

As I walked to the sink dabbing my hair with the towel, I thought about my monkey-that-went-out-on-the-walls phase. I wondered why no one came to check on me and calm me down. Oh, right, they didn't want to get hit with one of my monkey weapons.

With hair brushed and clothes changed, I went downstairs, ready for a onslaught of 'are you okay? Do you need anything?' questions. But, I surprisingly didn't get any. I walked into the kitchen, my brothers favorite room, but no one was there.

I went to my brother's room, half expecting him to be in his bed watching who knows what on his laptop, but the laptop was on his desk and his bed was made, no wrinkles or anything.

"Something is going on," I said to myself, thinking this was a whacked-out game of hide and seek, but I knew my family better.

Walking back upstairs, I headed toward my parents bedroom, knowing that my mom would be taking a day away from work. As I went in, I already knew she wasn't there. She would be clacking away at the computer sending emails to students or parents, or crying, or snoring while she sleeps. None of those things were happening.

"Where is everyone?" They wouldn't have left home without telling me.

Okay, maybe they would have. That was the only possible explanation for all of this.

I went back down the stairs, hoping when I reached the bottom of the stairwell that they would jump out of nowhere and say "I'm right here, you found me!" or something, just so I knew they were still here.

So when I got there, I was surprised when that happened, but it wasn't them.