Slay

Breaking, Entering, and Very Hasty Exiting

Grey poles crisscrossed the back of the billboard, mirroring the matrix of scaffolding which covered the open, unfinished side of Robyn's father's office block. The noise of traffic was muted here, among the trees behind the the construction site. 

Noel shivered in the rain. He was starting to miss the pink coat. It must be a Christmas miracle.

"So... we go in?" Ava asked. "What then?"

"We find Santa," he said. "He controls the Pole's magic. Whatever Robyn's got up her sleeve, she won't be any match for that." He adjusted his glasses and reached for the fence.

"Wait!" 

As his hand touched the wire, static pain seared up his arm. He snatched his hand away, aching and tense.

"It's an electric fence."

"Wow. Thanks. How shocking." Noel rubbed his arm, trying to remove the numbness. It felt as though his hand was still vibrating. "I would have never guessed."

"Sorry." Ava looked away, biting her lip.

"No, it's okay. It wasn't your fault." He smiled hesitantly. "You're quite the expert on breaking and entering. Do you know how to get us over this fence?"

She gestured to the tree they were standing under; they climbed it and jumped down on the other side. Noel's arm still felt fragile and achy; he climbed more slowly than Ava, trying to minimize the strain he put on it. 

As stealthily as possible, they crossed the construction site. The building's ground-floor parking was open at the sides, little more than a network of concrete columns braced against the weight of the towering office block. Rough doorway openings lead to cupboards or future bathrooms. They crossed the tarmac to a dark, yawning stairwell.

"Give me your phone thingy." Ava held out her hand. "Does this have a flashlight?" 

It did, and she held it in front of them as they descended the stairs. One level down, the light glinted off the handle of what looked like a cupboard door - the first properly installed door they'd seen.

They stopped. Noel tried the handle. It was locked.

"I know you're here."

The voice was female, with a British accent, and definitely not Ava's. Noel darted out of the stairwell. The underground parking was dark, illuminated only by a laptop placed on a folding table in the corner. 

A pale, brown-haired teenage girl sat behind the table. She was shaking a flashlight.

Noel shuffled awkwardly. Behind him, Ava stuck her finger into the cupboard door's lock.

The girl - Robyn - hit her flashlight against the table, and it finally turned on, bathing her face in an unearthly red glow. 

"You are too late, far too late, to stop me! My plan-"

Noel sighed. "Do a Darth Vader voice while you're at it, why don't you? Yeah, we're here to find Santa. What are you going to do about it? Blow up another building?"

"We-ell, if you insist..." Robyn pushed her chair back and stood up. She clambered awkwardly onto the table, raising one sneaker-clad foot above the remote control. 

"Theatrics, you know? The flair, the aesthetic. Where's the fun in villainy without them?" She wobbled, caught her balance, and stamped. 

It started at the corner of the room, far away from Robyn's desk, and crept along a fuse [fact-check] laid there - a glimmering, vicious spark.

"Run!" 

Ava whipped around and sprinted back up the stairs. He followed. The concrete pounded against his feet, shuddering with the force of the detonations that rumbled through the air in an unrelenting tidal wave of noise. Behind them, concrete crashed to the floor as the roof of the parking lot crumbled, sealing off the stairway. 

Her plan didn't succeed in blocking off the lower floor. Noel and Ava emerged onto the ground floor, which gaped open in what looked like a sinkhole. Robyn's underground hideout was still open to the world.

They glanced at each other. At the perilous strip of intact tarmac leading to freedom. At the floor which - presumably - hid Santa, the present sack, and Robyn.

"Theatrics, schmatrics." Ava wrinkled her nose as they scrambled out of the building. "You couldn't even see the blast!"

Noel leaned against a cold metal container, breathing hard. Movement caught his eye; he looked upwards, expecting a bird. Or a plane. A giant plane equipped with a Find-and-Save-Santa-inator would be preferable. If the Easter Bunny could pull through and deliver one of those, Noel thought, it would be much appreciated.

His wish was granted, to some degree. Mrs Claus's sleigh hurtled downwards through the clouds, a gleaming red comet on a collision course with the office block.

Pulling out of their dive with commendable grace, the reindeer galloped in through the open side of the building and promptly disappeared down the sinkhole. 

Ava coughed; Noel covered his mouth, shielding it from the dust that filled the air from first the explosion and now the sleigh's impact. 

"We're going in, right?"

"What?" Noel exclaimed. "Absolutely not. This is Mrs Claus's problem now. She's perfectly capable of handling, uh... improving..." He gazed into the subsiding dust cloud. "Replacing. Replacing it. We should start a company. Claus and Co: Swapping Problems for Bigger Problems since 1099. Top Quality Entertainment." 

He leaned back against the container.

"Got any popcorn?"

"But this is the perfect distraction!" Ava rounded on him. "Santa's got to be in that locked cupboard. Drop in, bust down the door, save him, and boom! No more naughty list!" 

She disappeared into the dust cloud. Noel allowed himself a moment to mourn his lost peace and quiet, before sighing and trudging after her.