Average Me (COMPLETED)

Okay

A/N: I apologize for all errors. Happy reading!

Thank you!
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The talk with Mir and Eve was indeed helpful. Although there's no confirmation from Kelvin yet, his actions are becoming clear to me now. Mirianne is right, I am overthinking. Probably one of the reasons why is because I look down at my self too much. Para sa'kin, I am not attractive enough, too plain, boring, unnoticeable. All those years, I have been used to the fact that no one will see me as a woman. Those 9 years gap from my last relationship have unconciously put my self esteem to the drain. And now came Kelvin. For someone who is not used to this kind of attention, everything feels surreal. And new.

Now, what will I say to Kelvin? How will I respond to his message? One thing is for sure, I am not ready to see him in person yet. What I do know now is I need to reply to him. I have been keeping him on seen mode a couple of times already. If I am to be on his shoes, there will be a lot of things circling on my mind right now, and they are definetely not nice.

I grabbed my phone and took a deep breath before I start typing.

Hi, Kelvin. First, I apologize I did not reply soon.

And yes, your messages and intentions have been confusing me a lot. I honestly don't know what to think. I don't want to assume things, so I've been assessing how to respond.

I guess this is okay. This is a good start, right? It took him a few seconds to send a reply. Upon seeing the dots that indicate he is typing, my heart started hammering in my chest.

Hey, its okay. I also realized that I might be too fast.

I mean, we just met and don't know anything about each other aside from our names, and here I am asking you out.

If I were you, I will also think it's weird that someone is inviting me out when that person did nothing but ignore me majority of the time. Haha.

Again, sorry kung ang snob ko last week. Dala siguro ng sobrang gutom ko and also because nung pinapaalis mo 'ko sa table that time.

And, uh... I was.....nervous, too.

I don't understand. He was nervous? Why? And for what?

My question was answered soon with his next reply. And here I thought my heart won't beat any faster than it is now, his next message managed to increase its pace, to the point I had to stand up and force myself to breathe. My heart! You need to calm down!

I was nervous around you.

This guy! He is seriously giving me a heart attack and I know for a fact that I have a healthy heart! What to say now!? So we felt the same towards each other that time? I was nervous being around him that day, too.

I decided to just ignore the last 2 messages and focused my reply on the event when I was asking him to move out of our table. I also think I need to tell him my answer about the coffee invitation.

That. Sorry din. Nakakahiya pag naaalala ko. 😅

And also, regarding your invitation, I am not saying no, its just.....not this soon?

Uhm... I mean, maybe some other time? Sorry, I hope you understand.

One thing I noticed is he replies to me within seconds while it will take me minutes to actually compose and think of a reply. This is what happens when you are only used to exchange messages with your friends over the years. The last time I had a conversation with a guy, who is not a friend, was when I was still with my first boyfriend. That's nearly a decade ago.

No problem. As you said, its just a no for now. That doesn't mean it will be the same case next time. 😊

I guess I will need to really work on your yes for a meal or coffee date with me. I'll wait for the time you'll be comfortable and ready to actually see me.

It will always be your call, but I'll also do my best to persuade you. 😉

Haha.

Really, Mary? Haha? Is that the best you got? And it actually took you 5 minutes, 5 minutes to send that reply. God!

Good thing he send another message as I don't know what to say anymore. I just can't believe all of this. Someone is interested in me. Someone actually wants to date me!

This is okay, right? If I will constantly check on you and send you messages? Maybe we can start knowing each other here. And soon, once you are more at ease with me, and we know each other more, maybe I can also call you or facetime?

And in the future, coffee with me?

Is it? Will this be okay? Will I be okay that someone, particularly a guy nowhere near to be just a friend, will message me constantly? Then eventually call me. Then date me?

Yeah.....

It's okay, Kelvin. This is okay.