funeral

2.

***Ellen and Taylors focus***

The two woman walked into the church, looking around at every item that held flowers in it. And by everything, they meant every thing! From the flowers on the alter to the floral patterns on a lady's bra.

Ellen looked at the woman's bra with much envy. "That's gonna be me one day" she said, pushing up her breasts a little.

"Is this really worth it?" Taylor asked, tossing a woman's floral hand bag over her shoulder.

"Yeah!" Ellen agreed "it'll all be worth it once we get the money for those sweet boobie jobs dolly parton has been raving about" she said, rubbing her hands together like a psycho maniac.

"Yeah, and then I'll get to rub it all in her face, IN YOUR FACE DOLLY! I FINALLY HAVE BIGGER BOOBS THAN YOU" she shouted fiercely. Ellen touched her arm empathetically.

"Taylor, never repeat that sentence to anyone again, ever?"

"Yeah okay"

*** kourtney, Sofia and Oprah focus***

"Hey Bob, hey frizbo- I mean Oprah!" Kourtney greeted as she moved up to make place for the two to sit.

"Hey kourtney, hey Sofia" Oprah greeted through narrowed eyes. Bob sprung up from behind his wife and vaguely greeted the two other woman.

"Hey Sofie-" Bob called

" its Sofia, so-fi-a" she corrected.

"Yeah sally I was wondering where Donald is" he asked, looking around for the guy.

"No, I do not know I haven't seen Hillary yet"

"Oh, okay then" Bob turned on his heel and walked back down the isle, where he was greeted with barak and just then, he remembered that barak  was on prescription too!

*** Bob and baraks focus***

"Ello barak!" He greeted cheerfully. Barak looked at him weirdly and pointed at himself in disbelief.

"Yes you, I don't see anyone else here who's name got found on a cheap cassette tape" he said, slinging his arm around baraks shoulder, making his knees cave in a little but the MIGHTY force of baby JESUS gave him strength to stand up again.

"Oh, cause... You never talk to me" he said, pouting a little.

"And they say he isn't gay" Bob muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

"Hey" Bob whispered. "Wanna get high off your 'prescription'?" Bob asked. Barak looked at him in shock. Seriously, his eyes were so round, it looked like an eight ball in reverse.

"But Sofia said it was only to be taken as 'dissected' " he said matter of factly. Bob snickered a bit.

"Are you sure she meant directed and not 'dissected'?"

Barak snickered a bit to himself.

"Yeah, that woman, she does have a way with words"

*** Hillary and Donald focus***

"Hey Hillary, do you think that this would be one of those cowboy funerals where everyone wears one of them straw cowboy hats and sing old funeral country songs and such?" Donald asked, looking around as they drive.

"No you big asshole" Hillary snapped "he's catholic and- oh, my god. Is that why you made me pack in that shitty hat and harmonica?!!"

"No!- yes" he admitted.

"You jerk! I thought you packed that in for me to protect me from the sun!"

"Oh don't worry about that you're wearing so Much make up that by the time the sun hits your skin, the grave probably would have been closed"

"You mother fucker!"

***dolly and father john focus***

"Hey paster father john..." Dolly started off, walking to the guy in the white robe which kind of distracted him. Not the walking, just the effects of it, with every step she takes, her 'twin sisters' takes massive leaps.

"Uh.. Yes sister parton?" He asked.

"Well paster father john, I was wondering when this sermon is going to start, my makeup and I are not good friends today" she said, taking her fan out of her bra, making father john a little bit nervous.

"Well uh.. Um.. Soon!" He squeeked.

"Huh, excuse me paster father? I was a little distracted" she said, leaning in a little in aid of hearing better.

"That makes two of us" he muttered.

"What?"

"Soon sister parton. Itll start soon. Were just waiting for a very special guest." He said and ran off into the direction of the men's room, leaving behind a confused dolly.

"Oh the lord is not on my side today, I have a wife" he muttered on his way there.

***meanwhile at the main entrance of the church***

"Good God Phillip, could you not wait till we were outside the car to break your deadly winds?!?" Elizabeth exclaimed, fanning her face in attempt to get the smell away from her nose.

"Sorry your highness, its just that you make the best bean stew in the world" Phillip complimented.

"Phillip, do shut up, the pot was burnt and the food tasted so bad that the rats didn't eat it."

"But I did, my dear" Phillip said, kissing her hand.

"Yes, and I'm surprised you even woke up this morning" the queen said, opening her door and departing the vehicle. She made her way up the stairs and stood at the entrance of the church. Waiting for her announcement.

Phillip caught up and stood beside her and they just stood there, waiting ...

And waiting...

And waiting...

***"""***"""***"""***"""***

Hit there, its me!!!

Chapter 2 done and dusted!!!

Lemme know how this book is going!!!