Growing Pains

Chapter 53 - I was a hoax

This was lie I had told her, in fact, a lie on top of a lie. I hadn't gotten hurt in a ski accident. It happened during the ski trip, yes, but definitely not on the slopes. Instead, I had gotten a sprained shoulder and a bunch of bruised ribs jumping out of a moving taxi, drunk out of my mind, after realizing I didn't have my wallet with me.

The other lie was that my chances with college scouts hadn't been hurt because of the supposed ski accident but because I had been playing like shit in every single game this year. I had no idea why. I had been playing football for years, in fact, playing better than everyone else around me, but lately, it felt like all I had really done was pretend I knew how to play. Somehow, I had made everyone, including myself, believe I was this wonder kid, when really the only wonder was how I had kept the lie up for so long.

Every time I got on the field, I was overwhelmed by this possibility of being a fraud, and worst of all, of being found out. It was all I could think about, and every mistake I then made on the field was a confirmation of this conspiracy theory I had on myself. Coach said I had to get out of my own head, but I had no idea how, except perhaps hit it against a wall over and over again until I found a clear exit.

By the time the bill was paid, my parents had already changed the conversation entirely to Derek and all the important work he was doing abroad. I didn't mind it so much as long as I didn't have to be included in their worship of him, except of course, both my parents insisted on looking at me to have me confirm Derek was all this and all that, as if they needed a third witness of his doings, each of them greater than the last.

By the end of the night, I had decided I would rather sleep on the street than get in the car with my parents and have them go over every single thing I had done wrong during dinner, so I told them I was going over to Edward's. This was another lie since Edward was still not talking to me for essentially getting directions wrong. I obviously hadn't meant to almost kill Isaac. The trainline was supposed to be abandoned. But Edward wouldn't hear any of this, and obviously my parents didn't need to.

They weren't happy that I wasn't going home with them, mostly because they thought I would really benefit from some input on my behavior tonight, as I knew they would, but eventually they got in the car and drove away without me.

I sat on the sidewalk and called Kylie. She answered only after a while.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Jacob?"

"Yes, it's me."

"And you're calling because?"

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Aligning my chakras," she said. "It's the Sectionals tomorrow."

"Right." I had forgotten the girls wouldn't be cheering us on in favor of their Cheer Competition out of town. "So you're home?"

"I am," she said.

"Alone?"

"Yes."

"Can I come over?"

"What part of aligning my chakras didn't you understand?"

I smiled, a car honked at me, and I flipped him off.

To Kylie, I said, "I can help you."

She seemed amused at the idea, and asked, "How?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"This might come as a surprise to you, but I don't need your help."

I pretended to laugh, "How long are you gonna keep this up for?"