The Art of Being a F*ck Up

7. Bitches Be Like

Monday's are always the worst, I wonder why that is. It kind of feels like some universal truth that everybody experiences, but we're forced to slog through it over and over, faced with a whole new week of untold horrors. Maybe that's what's worse for me—the unknown. I guess I've always been a coward, no big secret there, I really just crave the stability I used to have. Sex isn't some magic cure-all, but being able to be intimate with Jonah again, I don't know, it reminds me a lot of how things were. He even crept back over to the house last night so we could do it one more time before our weekend was through, I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one who missed it.

And it's not really just about the sex either, it's about getting to be with the man I love. Right after we finished my skin felt warm, and I didn't completely hate getting out of bed this morning—which was nearly impossible anyway when he was still wrapped in my covers, taunting me with that seductive smile of his. Staying there with him, in that bed, in that room, was such a beautiful feeling, I only wish it could've lasted when I had to leave. As awake as I felt when we were together, that feeling only continues to fade for every minute we're apart and I'm back to my far less beautiful reality.

The verbal warning I got from one of my professors still weighs heavily on my mind, which only makes me think about Maddy. Devin had brought her up again after I saw her in the student center, he's convinced himself that since we dated for so long we should be able to work something out now. I'm not even sure how to begin explaining it to him, he would just defend his stupid idea by saying that I don't have a better plan and he'd be right. It really is a lot of unknown lately, but right now all I want is to hurry through the day so I can go home to Jonah.

"Get your head out of your ass, I'm not paying you to stand around." Bill joins me next to the coffee pot, having decided that I've been idling here for long enough. Thinking about Jonah has not only helped me skate through every last one of my classes, but basically my entire shift as well. Sadly, Bill doesn't share my vision, "I've been meaning to catch up with you, kid. I'm going to be out tomorrow, I was thinking you could stay a little later and lock up for me."

"You're not coming in again?" While I'm desperately trying to force my life to return to normal, my uncle's continues to diverge from its rigorously structured course. I know I shouldn't ask, I know how much he'll hate it, but he came in late today too and the curiosity eats at me. "I mean I can stay, whatever, it's no deal or anything, but is there something I should know?"

"Nothing for you to be worried about, I promise, it wouldn't interest you." He tries to remain a solemn mystery, grabbing his cup of coffee and turning back towards his office, but I'm not so easily fooled.

"Why? Is it about my dad? You can tell me straight, Bill, did he get himself in trouble again?" Sometimes I do pay attention, and this wouldn't be the first time he's gotten all extra secretive about the sorry excuse that is my father. It wasn't lost on me that he dropped Bill off earlier, it's weird seeing so much of him all of a sudden. My uncle hesitates, and if I cared enough I could probably ferret it out all on own—my dad's an asshole and a drunk, the opportunities are endless—but I get ahead of myself. "God, he never fucking learns, does he?"

"Hey! Show some respect, he's still your old man." Bill smacks me upside the head. For a second I forgot that they're brothers, and no matter what happens—whether they fight or one of them abandons his son—they don't stop being family. "You don't know what you're talking about, it's not like that. You want to stay and lock up or no? That's all I asked you for."

"Whatever you say." I submit, throwing my hands up. What good would it do to press the issue? He's right, it's nothing I should care about, so I try to go back to my desk but he only grabs ahold of my shoulder to stop me. His hand is gruff at first, but then his hold softens and he offers a few pats instead.