My Feeling Diary

Blah can't think of a title right now

November 9th 2012

So a lot of things have happened over the half-term and I'm sad that it's over :(

1st off, my dad came back from holiday and has been hounding me about school work and homework and believes that I'm supposed to know everything and that I should be getting A*'s and A's and B's are not acceptable and if I get a B then I'm not working my hardest and...I think I'll just leave it there.

So I'm not...ecstatic that my dad's back. When he was gone the house was quieter, and it just felt right but when he came back it was just endless amounts of rules. Even while he was gone and there weren't any rules that my mum set, me and my sister still behaved: we didn't cause trouble, we were quiet when my mum needed the peace, we minded our own business and din't get in each other's way. Now that he's back, the routine that I've been accustomed to has been ruined.

I'm just so sick of my parents thinking that I'm gonna be super smart like my dad or be a shopping freak like my mum. Parents should support you and say that the level your working at is good, not look at your work and say that it's not good enough.

I mean, honestly, why does he even bother to ask why I don't show him my reports anymore? Why does he ask how school went? Why does he ask about homework? I'm not gonna show any of my school stuff to him again, it's not like my parents have been any help when it came to school. It's like they just expected me to be smart straight away, if I get stuck on something they accuse me of not being smart enough when the work I'm doing is much harder than what they'd done because my generation have gotten smarter so the tests have been made harder. When I ask them what something means its like the thought 'oh my god she is so thick' come to their minds and it drives me mad.  

I'm pretty sure that I'm dyslexic or something. I mean, I'm probably not but I'm most definitely not smart and it takes me like half an hour for the information to sink in and they just pop back out again. My parents don't understand that though. They just think I'm not trying. And when I try to talk to them about it like they do in those crappy reality tv shows they just don't listen to me, so now I have given up hope for them. If I'm stuck with school work then I'll just power through it alone, like I always have done.

It's like that with cooking. Only when I turn 12 my mum brings up the topic that I don't cook and starts going on about how she had to cook when she was only 6 years old. That's not my fault, its her fault. When I was 6 how the hell was I supposed to know that I should've learnt how to cook at that age? Now she keeps nagging me about not cooking and I have a very good reason for that: I CAN'T BLOODY COOK. If she wanted me to cook then she should've taught me when I would've found it interesting and have been able to do it as a routine instead of bringing it up and 'teaching' me how to cook when I've had my daily routine thought out since I've started secondary school.

It's like my parents aren't even my parents. They're just people who gave birth to me.