My Feeling Diary

Indecisive

September 11th 2014

He makes me smile

He makes me laugh

He makes me cry

He makes me go back to my "depressed" stage

He lies to me and I have to find out the truth about it

I feel like everything he's ever told me is a lie

He's a hell of a good liar if he doesn't actually like me because I've been fooled for this long and still am

He says he wants to talk to me 24/7 but doesn't even check his messages until a week later

He makes up excuses as to why he can't at least say hello

He avoids me in some of the most obvious but believable ways

He must not actually love me like I love him

I both want to leave him and stay with him

I'm scared to lose him

I don't want him to go but I hate the times when he makes me feel like I'm not worth anything

I guess there are more reasons for me to break it up than to keep risking it

But I don't know what to do

I just don't know...