Rebel Rebel |harry styles| - ongoing

FIVE

"Stay here, I'll go get breakfast.", I waited for twenty minutes for him to get back in the car and drive us to my house.

Harry

I didn't initially plan on spending the entire day with Essie, but the idea sort of came to life in my mind when we finished yoga. I didn't want to just leave it at that. We had fun. I got into yoga a couple of years back when I was just starting my solo career. Jeff suggested I try something that would help carry me into a different dimension and I was sceptical at first but started understanding what he meant by 'different dimension' very quickly.

Bono greeted us, wagging his tail, when she unlocked the door. I really liked her house; it had a warm and homey feeling to it. Something I felt my house was lacking. It was nice having enough space for my entire extended family to come stay, which was what I had in mind when I bought it, but I was alone in it most of the time. Essie set the table in the garden and brought out orange juice and coffee while I played fetch with her dog. Maybe I should get a dog. That was a stupid idea, who would take care of it when I was away?

"Do you feel better after that practice?", she questioned after we devoured the breakfast burritos.

"I do, I always feel better after doing yoga. It's such a unique feeling, a strange calmness and stillness that I can't achieve otherwise. What about you?", Estee paused for a second, tilting her head to one side. Her nose scrunched up a little, moulding the freckles that coated it into one.

"Strangely, I agree. I wasn't really into it when my mom did it, but that was probably out of teenage rebellion anyway. Thanks for making me do it.", I chuckled, "I didn't make you do anything. I just hoped you wouldn't shoot the idea down without giving it a go, honestly.".

"I'll go grab a shower. You can use the second bathroom, if you'd like.", well there went my proposition of showering together... down the drain. It was for the best, probably. What good could come out of having a re-run of the other night?

"Sure, if you'll point me in the direction of towels. I've got a change of clothes in my car, I'll go quickly fetch that.", I stood by the car door for a while before going back inside, just thinking of this unusual dynamic we'd developed here. Thankfully, it wasn't weird at all. But I had a feeling it wasn't entirely normal, either. We weren't friends, yet. The thought of either of us posing the question of were we trying to become friends or just killing time until getting into each other's pants again was weighing on me. I could hear humming coming from the upstairs, she was singing in the shower... such a cliché. Essie had a nice voice, the more time I spent with her the more I struggled to find one thing she wasn't good at. She was an excellent photographer, it seemed she was a good friend to her musketeers, Bono adored her, she could do yoga, she was fun and unpredictable at times and she was incredible in bed. A funny little creature, that woman.

Whilst water ran over me like a truck, I kept envisioning her, in her bathroom, showering. Her head turning up to face the showerhead, droplets rolling down her back, her hands massaging her neck, rubbing her arms and legs, gently hovering over her breasts. I did it, knowing it wasn't healthy, or a good idea. Never before have I had to search so deep for that bit of reality that would pull me down until I was firmly on the ground, that little shadow that would sit on my shoulder and keep reminding me that the woman whose naked body I struggled to push out of my thoughts was still very much a stranger.

"How about we check out this new series on Hulu, it's called Normal people. I reckon you'd quite like that.", Essie appeared in the living room in a new set of clothing, her hair leaving tiny drops of water behind her. I liked it when she teased me.

"Sure, set it up.", we got comfy on the sofa with Bono between us, creating some distance. The dog knew exactly what I needed.

The series was interesting from the beginning, about a couple of Irish teenagers transitioning from secondary school to uni in Dublin. The guy, Connell, reminded me of Niall a lot in how he spoke and in some hand gestures.

"I'm not sure if I love them or if they annoy the heck out of me.", she paused the next episode and turned to face me, petting Bono on his head.

"I get it. I want to know what happens next, but I've got a feeling it's going to hurt us.", Essie laughed at my comment, it was one of those addictive melodies you couldn't get enough of.

"I agree, but I'm willing to allow them to hurt me."

It was almost ten at night when we finally turned the telly off, leaving the last two episodes for another time. We were both barely awake, and Bono was desperate for a wee. She peeled herself off the sofa gently, careful with every sleepy step she took.

"I'll walk you out, I have to let him out anyway.", her hand almost missed the cardigan that hung on a hook beside the front door, and she hit the archway instead. Finally grabbing the soft fabric, she wrapped herself in it and hooked the leash around Bono's collar.

"I'll see you tomorrow, we've got to see what happens with Marianne and Connell, right?", her tired nod told me all I needed to know and I gave her a barely noticeable hug before I hopped in my car.

If there's one thing I learned today it was that Essie was such a peculiar being. Everything she did had meaning, but it all seemed very intricately planned in her head. She was careful with every comment she made about the show, what she laughed at and when she sniffled a bit, like she knew I was observing her, desperate for any crumb she'd give me. It wasn't odd for me to want to know more about someone, but not wanting to ask. I was always like that, it was something my mum told me ages ago: if you ask then the person will give you the answer they want to give you, but if you observe you'll piece the puzzle together in a way that makes sense to you. I wanted to do it like that with Essie, collect pieces of information and create my own vision of her. I was eager to hear her opinions on certain topics and I wanted to understand how she saw the world, too. My curiosity would just have to wait a bit. 

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A/N: If you've not yet seen Normal people, I highly suggest it. It's i n c r e d i b l e! I wasn't sure I'd be able to get into it at first, but boy did it suck me in. Tell me what you think of the show if you've seen it, I need someone to talk to about it :) 

TPWK, always.

T