Soukoku Oneshot's

hate and love

Angsty
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3rd pov
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Dazai stood at the edge, the edge of the highest building he could find. Only just before he jumped chuuya grabbed him, pulling him away from the edge.
" Jesus Christ dazai would you stop trying to commit suicide all the damn time so we can finish a mission! " Chuuya barked out
" So cruel chuuya I was so close too! " Dazai pouted
" And if you survived you'd be stuck with the pain afterwards you Idiot " Chuuya said
Dazai rolled his eyes, turning around so he's not being dragged backwards.
" But didn't we finish the mission? " Dazai asked
" Your writing the report I did it last time " Chuuya dazai letting go of dazai once they, got to the roof door. Dazai almost fell, from not needing to balance himself since chuuya was dragging him. Dazai grabbed chuuya, taking chuuya down with him. Hey what better way to die then.......

Wait........

The was right that was in the past, chuuya laughed at his stupidity. Grabbing the wine bottle of Pétrus. Skipping past the glass cups, taking a long drink. Over again until the bottle was empty, chuuya found himself feeling gross. Yeah probably because he drank a whole wine bottle, not to say he had spilled some on him.

He didn't care, his mind was in a drunken state. He grabbed another wine bottle, not knowing which one. He'd hate himself in the morning, if he drank all his wine tonight.
" Who even cares about that stupid idiot! " Chuuya shouted
Taking another drink, his breath was strong with wine.

He didn't need that stupid idiot, why did dazai have to come into his life though? Chuuya would have been, perfectly fine being alone And betrayed.

Chuuya took another long drink, from the wine bottle. The weight disappears, as it slowly got empty. Chuuya's mind raced, but slowly he was walking no falling? He didn't know he found himself, in the bathroom throwing up all the wine he had drank. What a pain, couldn't wait till he woke up with a hangover.

Guess not his body felt weak, his eyes glossed with tears. From the pain, his throat burned he stood up, wiping his mouth. Stripping from his clothes, turning on the shower.

Hoping in once it was hot, washing his body scrubbing it. Until his skin was red, the hot water burned chuuya. He didn't care, should he have?

Chuuya let the shampoo run through his hair, he found himself sitting on the bathtub floor. He couldn't stand long, his body hurt to much. Tears fell from his eyes, water slashing on him.

God he was pathetic, that's right pathetic crying over whatever stupid shit. His mind fell blank, chuuya's body gave out and chuuya black out.

Dazai felt sick to his stomach, as if something was wrong. What was it though, he didn't know that did he? Yes he grabbed his phone, calling chuuya it rang chuuya wasn't picking up. Dazai got up from his bed, grabbing his jacket putting his shoes on. Leaving throwing his jacket on, and going to chuuya's apartment.

Dazai knocked on chuuya's door, no answer he knocked again same thing. He picked locked the door opening it, he heard the shower on, he went over to the bathroom.

Opening the door and walking in, chuuya was out cold. On the bathtub floor. Dazai turned off the water, grabbing the towel and sitting chuuya up. Wrapping the towel around him, picking him up and existing the bathroom.

Maybe he just worked to much, or it was all the wine he was drinking. Dazai laid chuuya on his bed, and grabbed some clean clothes. Dressing chuuya into something clean, dazai looked at chuuya he looked so pale.

Dazai grabbed chuuya's wrist, deep red lines marked his wrist. Dazai looked at chuuya's sleeping face, he was so beautiful why was he harming himself? Dazai bit his bottom lip, hard why because he was angry. Did he have a right to be, never it was partly his fault after all.

" Who would ever love such an annoying hat rack? " Dazai asked
Chuuya glared at dazai
" Everyone " Chuuya said
He was lying
" Not me your useless " Dazai said
Chuuya looked away from dazai, continuing the report her had to right.
" Yeah I'm happy you don't love me you wants to be loved by a suicidal manic " Chuuya said
Faking confidence as a way to cope, how stupid acting like he's amazing and the best. Just because he was secretly hurting, who would care no one.

Cocky bastards deserved nothing, chuuya acted like a cocky bastard. People didn't say anything though, he was talented but his ego was bigger. Chuuya didn't have an ego, he hoped someone saw that.
" Chuuya's so weak " Dazai said
As chuuya leaned against him, he was tired that's what happens when he used corruption though.
" Shut up! " Chuuya said
And slowly slipped into unconsciousness

Why dazai?.....

Why did dazai have to be so cruel, he knew chuuya was lying he knew chuuya was hurting. Dazai ran his fingers, over chuuya's cut marks. They'd scar him forever, but doesn't dazai do the same? He dose so why, is he so angry chuuya is? Chuuya's eyes snap opened he jumps up, panting not noticing dazai. Pulling his knees up to his chest, hiding his face.
" Chuuya? " Dazai questioned
Chuuya shook his head
" Go away " Chuuya whispered out

" What's wrong? " Dazai asked
Chuuya looked at dazai, dazai's heart felt broken the sight of tears running down chuuya's face. Then why was it so enchanting? Was it because something so beautiful was broken, yes that's exactly why.

" It's not your business! " Chuuya said
Dazai moved closer to chuuya
" I don't care what's wrong? " Dazai asked
Chuuya looked away
" Go away I don't wanna see you or be around you! " Chuuya said
" I don't care what's wrong?! " Dazai demanded
" I said leave me the fuck alone! " Chuuya shouted
That's right chuuya

hated dazai yet hated himself more
" I just want to help " Dazai said softly
Chuuya held back, all the tears that wanted to fall with the others.
" It was just a nightmare who cares everyone gets them. " Chuuya said

That's right just a nightmare, dazai always has nightmares. His regret eating away at his soul, till he becomes a soulless being. Chuuya's guilt ate away at his mind, till he becomes a broken being.

" Do you hate me? " Dazai asked
" You already know the answer you bastard " Chuuya responded

That was right, chuuya hated himself for everything. Chuuya hated, dazai for watching him brake slowly. Dazai hated himself, watching chuuya break. He hated chuuya for making him want
at to live another day.

They hated themselves and each other, Either way they loved each other just the same.
Chuuya laid down, turning away from dazai. Dazai took off his shoes, laying behind chuuya wrapping his arms around chuuya.
" I hate you! " Chuuya said
" I hate you too " Dazai said

Chuuya faced dazai, cuddling closer to him. He still felt so weak, it was his own fault.
Dazai ran his hand up and down, chuuya's back helping chuuya fall back to sleep. Dazai smiled, he did hate chuuya he hated him with all his being. Chuuya hated dazai as well, hated dazai with every part of him.

Even so they couldn't live without the other, pathetic it was hating but loving someone. Making you hate yourself as well. Dazai slipped into sleep as well, no nightmares appeared to hunt him. His mistake not making it even sleep hard, chuuya was that reason.
Would dazai even know that?

Of course he did, he was Dazai Osamu. He knew that, chuuya took those awful nightmares away.

Did he take the pain away from chuuya, did he help chuuya in anyway? That he didn't know, he hoped he did. God can even hear him praying to him, hoping he'd take away the pain chuuya felt.

When chuuya woke up, dazai was gone. Just like always, nothing new chuuya smiled. Silently thanking dazai, after all he'd be In the shower all wet and hurt from the fall if it wasn't for dazai.

God save them from this constant heartbreak, from this constant hate, love relationship. They couldn't handle it, hating and loving each other. It only broke them more, yet fixed them at the same time.