The Heart Of Silicon Valley

He destroys me

Ruby

Having worked in tech for five years, I was used to being the only female in sight. This was as a result of the vast gender gap in the field. Choosing to specialize in Big Data and AI didn't help my case either. In uni, there were only twenty girls in my computer science class compared to a whooping eighty male species.

As many women who pursue careers in male dominated fields will attest, you have to down play or over emphasize certain attributes in order to be taken seriously. In my case, I decided to dress down so as not attract a certain kind of attention. I hated being cat called in the lobby or eye fucked in a conference when pitching a new idea.

My go-to look was a baggy tech t-shirt paired with pencil jeans and ankle boots. A messy bun would complete the outfit. That was one of the perks of my job, there was no dress code. Ofcourse, this did very little to hide my bust and voluptuous ass, but hey, at least I tried. I would never say it out loud, but I knew the effects my curves had, and I secretly loved it.

Now, I know I mentioned hating being eye fucked, but there is one exception to that. And his name is Zack. He had just started working in my department and I was beyond stoked! We were working on a couple of projects together and there were definitely sparks flying around during those sessions. It could just be my delusional mind playing tricks on me, but I swear I always caught him stealing quick glances. My cheeks in turn, responded by turning all shades of red.

The passion with which he spoke about code was unmatched. His mad genius was a nice touch to his dazzling physique. He had the most gorgeous blue eyes and was very muscled, showing how much he liked to work out. Boy would it feel nice to be held in those guns! He also had sideburns that formed a neatly trimmed goatee at the end. I secretly wondered how those hairs would feel when he went down on me.

It was a beautiful Monday morning when I was casually walking to my office at Google.Inc when my train of thought was disrupted. I turned a corner and guess who I see shamelessly flirting with Karen, the department's secretary. She was propped on top of her desk with a cleavage that left very little to the imagination. He stood in front of her trying almost desperately to concentrate on her face. It was a war that he was quickly losing.

I felt tears swelling in my eyes and immediately felt stupid. I had no right to be angry. Heck, he probably just knew me as the only-girl-in-the-crew. On que, he chose that moment to look my way. I was so embarrassed that I let my adrenaline control me. I fled the scene. I just span around and walked as quickly as I could. In the hallway, I spotted a janitor's closet on my right which I hastily entered. I struggled to keep my breathing in check and could feel hot streaks on my chin.

The closet door creaked open and I felt like I was on the brink of my second anxiety attack. Why was the universe conspiring against me? Did the janitor really have to use this room right this instance? And then the unexpected happened. Zack walked in. Our eyes locked for a second and I turned around, afraid he would laugh at me.

I felt his hands on my hips. Then he gently but firmly turned me around. He kept one hand on the small of my back, preventing me from moving. I was trapped! At this point, our chests were pressed together and I felt a small gasp escape my mouth.

"What's wrong bug?" he asked.

'Bug' was the nickname he had for me. Since fixing bugs was kind of my niche. My patience, alongside a generous amount of efficiency in using Stackoverflow (an online site with numerous solutions to writing code) allowed me to do so. At first it warmed me up inside. Then I remembered Karen and instantly went back to feeling like shit. He would probably never call a woman like her a bug. Not with her flaunting that brazier like that! I was a joke compared to her. My lips started to quiver and I felt another stream of tears coming on.