A Bullet is the Key.

It was nice no parents screaming at you and not letting you explain anything at all to them as you try to talk with them. You had the world around you in a sweet serenade as you were alone in the world and in your own thoughts, there was no care in the world as you where there. If you were a snow flake would the larger snow flakes let you travel the world without them there or did they have follow you like a dog making sure they knew where you were every second of every day. The boxed in effect that made it feel like the world was caving in on you where you had no voice to even speak to scream to state your own mind, like you were a caged animal. If I were a snowflake I would want to travel as far as possible away from the larger snowflakes that were suffocating me, trapping me in a world that they controlled every inch of. How can someone make you feel like you are smaller than you are?

Whiteness it brought on a sense of peace and understanding a feeling I had been missing for months that have passed. If I walked in the snow would it erase my errors just like it erased any print once the new snow fell? I hated feeling like I had no way in life that all my steps and life choices have made my parents judge me and keep sheltered from the world around me. Who was really living my life because at this time it sure felt like I wasn’t living my own life but the life my parents created for me? Silence surrounded me as my gaze still lingered out the window watching the world move past me as I felt I stood still. What was to really come in two days? I had no idea where this was going or how it would end. Closing my eyes I tried to zone out the silence around me and in doing so I didn’t realize that someone had come up to me and take a seat next to me.

“Hi Emma.” A voice said from beside me.

Opening my eyes from my zoned out mode I looked over to see Sydney seating there next to me a smile on her face though she looked tired.

“Hey Syd how are you?” Leaning up to my full height I leaned my elbows on my knees to look at her, she did the same.

“I have been good getting along with Roger more and helping make sure that everything is ready for the carnival.” She told me as she sighed before leaning her head back to look to the ceiling before turning back to face me with a small smile on her face.

“How do you do it all Emma? I mean you have the perfect grades, boyfriend, family and so much more.” There it was the word ‘perfect’ is that really what everyone thinks of me? I had no idea how to reply to what she asked because to me my life was not perfect at all.

“Honest I have no idea Sydney just takes a lot out of you I guess” I mean that was all I could say since I had nothing to say to her saying I was perfect. Sydney looked at me with a hidden gleam in her eyes one that I had never seen before in her eyes and the look brought my hair to stand on end.

With a exastperated sigh she reached forward taking my hand in hers and looked me right in the eyes which was a little weird since she never did this. But then she said something that confused me.

“I wish I had a perfect life like you Emma you literally have everything.” A smile slid onto her face before she dropping my hand. “Oh I have to go, ill see you later Emma” was her cheerful reply as she skipped off. Okay I thought. Leaning backwards I closed my eyes with a sigh just as the bell rang signaling the end of class, scooping my stuff back into my purse I made my way out of the library and into the quad. There they were waiting patiently for me in the middle of the quad though Chrissie looked a little jumpy waiting for me and as I approached them they smiled at me before following me quickly to the old senior hall. Once inside though it was eerie silent and with a flick of my wrist I hit the hall lights illuminating it in a warm glow. I had forgotten this switch even existed weeks ago.