inevitable | sooshu

it's ok

Dear Diary,

For the first time in a while, everything seems to hurt a little less. Knowing that Yuqi still supports me, even though she knows I'm different makes me feel better. At least I have one friend who truly loves me. As for Soojin, the pain is still there. It still hurts whenever she looks at me, touches me, or smiles at me. I've genuinely smiled for the first time since Hann era, and it feels great to be doing better than I have been. My brain still wants to play games with me though, as I still often think about how I'm a burden, and how I would never be good enough.

Some part of me wants to ignore it, but I can't ignore the truth. I wonder if Yuqi actually thinks that I'm meant for this, or if she was just saying this to make me feel better? I would bet money on the second one.

The only good news I've received lately, is that idol agencies are allowing all foreign idols to go home to spend time with their families and are halting promotions for two weeks, which is a huge relief. I heavily need a break from Korea, and I miss Taiwan greatly. Yuqi is going back to China with her friend Lucas, and Minnie is gonna go to Thailand with her friends Lisa and Sorn, while Tzuyu is accompanying me to Taiwan since we both live there.

I'm hoping that this break I'm getting will allow me to forget my feelings for Soojin, as I won't see her or the rest of the members for 2 whole weeks. I'm hoping that when we come back, the pain of seeing her is no longer there.

I'll see you soon, diary.

It was time. Shuhua was in the airport with her friend Tzuyu, of Twice. Both were happy that they were able to get a break from Korea, and that they could go home to see their families. "So Shu, how was the comeback?" Tzuyu asked, in mandarin. "It was fun, but tiring as hell. I feel like a grandma." Shuhua responded back, to which Tzuyu laughed. "Touché. Feel Special tired me." Tzuyu responded. Both grabbed their things, and headed on the plane.

"Shuhua! Tzuyu! Can I get a picture?" A crazy fan shouted. Tzuyu exchanged eyes with Shuhua, and both of them sighed. "Sure buddy." Shuhua responded, and the two took a picture with the lucky fan. "This is why I want to go home wow." Tzuyu stated, to which Shuhua widened her eyes in agreement. "I just want some homemade food!" Shuhua deadpanned.

The two landed in Taiwan, and parted ways. They already planned to go get dinner the next day together, and they knew where they were going, so no one was concerned. Shuhua drove back to her parent's house, who were informed that she was indeed coming home for a while. She rang the doorbell, and waited for someone to open the door.

"Shushu!" Her mother exclaimed, tackling the girl into a hug. "Hi mom! I'm back!" Shuhua cheered, walking back into her old house. "Wow, everything looks exactly the same." Shuhua commented, with her mom agreeing. "Your father and I always liked it like this." "Shu!" Her father exclaimed, walking into the living room to hug his daughter. "Dad! How are you?" Shuhua asked, excited to see her father for the first time in a while. "I'm great, sweetie. I'm glad you're back!"

Shuhua was hungry when she got back, so her mother made her some homemade food, and the three of them sat down at the dinner table together and caught up. Shuhua felt amazing, honestly. Her mind was off of Soojin, off of the comeback, and instead she was safe in the arms of her family. Little did she know, that this was only the beginning.