inevitable | sooshu

blind | shuhua

We had just finished wrapping up the music performances for our newest album "I Trust." The album was great, and Soyeon did a nice job on the songs. My Korean still wasn't great, and I was starting to loose hope in getting a decent amount of lines. Cube knows that I'm the weakest link out of the whole group, that's why I'm always placed in the back for choreographies. It makes me wonder why I was debuted in the group anyways, I'm practically just existing as a burden.

As means of celebration, Soyeon suggested we should go out for dinner, which sparked my interest. I love food, so I was convinced enough to go. We split into 2 cars, one with minnie, yuqi and I, and the other being the korean line. "I can finally breathe knowing I won't be in the same space as Soojin." I thought. "Minnie, you did a great job!" Yuqi cheered, her eyes turning up when she smiled. "Thank you, you as well." Minnie said back, blushing. I was convinced there might be something going on between the two of them, but I would rather think about that later.

I stared out of the window, something I enjoyed these days. The two other members were in their own world, one that didn't involve me. I wasn't sure whether I was happy that they weren't asking me questions, or if I was upset that I didn't seem to hold the slightest significance to them at all.

We arrived at the restaurant, and sat down at the table. I was forced to sit next to Soojin, much to my dismay. I couldn't concentrate on conversation in korean as I felt my heart beating faster, but also breaking into more tiny pieces with every passing minute that I looked at her. Yuqi seemed to notice something was off, and she asked me in mandarin, "Are you alright? You're awfully quiet." I put on my poker face, and cleared my throat. "Yes, I'm just tired. We've been working a lot with this comeback." I laughed, making her smile as well.

"Are you guys gossiping about us?" Miyeon joked, making Yuqi burst into laughter, and a small smile appeared on my face. "She just asked me what I wanted to order, that's all." I responded. The five of them seemed content with my answers, which made me happy that they weren't worried about anything. "Shuhua, do you want to share this with me?" Soojin asked me, making my face morph into a strawberry red color. "Sure." I responded, nice and short.

The dinner was relaxing, at least for me, as it was a nice break from the nonstop work we've been doing for this comeback. Sitting next to Soojin was the center of my worries, but her presence seemed to sooth me even though my heart was beating erratically. It was nice to relax, to be able to breathe for a second. Lately, I've felt as if life was a race, one that was so far ahead of me that I've started to fall behind. I needed to get over Soojin, I needed to leave the thought of loving her behind, or I would then start to fall behind as well.