I just wanted an autograph {Davekat/BandAU}

I was not ready for this.

Become Karkat in 1st person:

(I MIXED UP CHECK WITH BILL!! I'M SORRY!!!)

I have to admit. I'm a little shaken, but I managed to waiter my favorite fucking band, IN THE WORLD. Not to mention, my celebrity crush, tried to save my ass. That, yeah. Also he's a lot taller than I thought. The guy is like, 6"8. I'm 5ft tall!! Everyone except Rox looks so much more intimidating in person. Not to mention, I'm serving their asses. Kanaya and Nepeta keep asking questions. Am I supposed to know their body count after asking what they'd like to eat?! Kanaya shakes my shoulders in the staff room.

"You Must Ask Them For An Autograph For Us!!!" My corpse swings back and forth. I put my hands on her arms.

"NO DO IT YOURSELVES!!" I say shaking Kanaya back. 

"No!! We'll Embarrass Ourselves!! You've Already Talked To Them!!" Kanaya says giddily. I groan.

"FINE...! I'LL DO IT WHEN I BRING THEM THE CHECK. STOP TOUCHING ME!!" I push her off awkwardly. She jumps around. That's really odd for Kanaya. I served them their food just a bit ago. God I am not ready for this. Fuck. I can't believe I talked to Dave Strider. Thee Dave Strider. Just play it cool. I walk behind the counter. Yeah this is a maid cafe. But we have a bar. Only for special guests. Ironic huh. I start washing dishes. I can feel one of the Strilonde members staring me down. Thank god we cleared out the cafe. We put down the shades and turned on lights. We didn't want a paparazzi crowding in. Whoever is staring at me has been doing it for a while. I glance up. I see Dave leaning back in his seat. Leaning a bit too far back. His eyes are locked on me. A smirk plastered on his face. I pretend I didn't see anything. My face is burning up. I hear him lean farther back in his chair.

"WATCH IT STRIDER. DON'T WANNA FALL AND DAMAGE YOUR EGO." I say out of instinct. The entire cafe goes silent, except for Rox's quiet 'ooo burn' . I hear the chair get placed back on all fours. I sigh. Continuing to wash the dishes with haste. I can still feel Dave's stare. All the band members except Dave have eaten. Hear the loud placing of a fork onto a plate. My heart skips a beat. 

"Excuse me sir, may we please have the check? Possibly a box as well?"  I pause my cleaning. The idea of what I have to do is gonna be a pain. I get the check and box. As I'm going around the counter Nepeta opens the kitchen window Kanaya and her peer out. Nepeta signs 'get our autographs!!! Please!!' I roll my eyes. Without moving my legs I turn my head to the band.

"HEY. THE TWO FANGIRLS IN THE BACK ASK FOR AN AUTOGRAPH. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE THEM ONE." I groan. The four of them straighten up. I can still feel Daves stare locked on me. Tf is going on...? 

"Sure little dude. They got anything they want signed?" I feel as Dave's eyes trace me up and down. He bites his bottom lip. I turn to Kanaya and Nepeta to quickly hide the fact that I look like a tomato from all my blush. The jackass is playing with my emotions. I mentally slap myself in the face. Nepeta and Kanaya all pull out notebooks. I grab them and walk over to the table. I hand the band the notebooks and check. Dave's eyes still locked on me. After they sign the books I take them back. Waiting patiently on them to pay the check. It's only like 17 dollars for everything.

"You want an autograph?" Dave's eyes shift away from me and into a bag.

"UHHH NOT REALLY..?? NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING TO BE SIGNED."I shrug waiting for my fucking money.

"What's your name nubs?" Dave asks. Rummaging through the bag.

"DEFINITELY NOT FUCKIN NUBS. IT'S KARKAT." I say. The smirk on Dave's face twitches upwards. Please don't be smug. He's known for doing that in interviews.

"If you're a cat than why're you dressed as a bunny?" Dear fucking god...

"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN? IT'S EASTER DUMBASS." I transfer my weight to one leg. Dave's eye brows raise at the name he is called. Dirk snorts. 

"Aight, aight. Ah. Here it is." Dave pulls out a wallet. Then an envelope. He tucks a few 100 dollar bills in the envelope. 

"YOU KNOW THE MEAL WAS ONLY 17 DOLLARS." I stare in awe at all the fucking money. Jesus dude be careful on how much of that you carry around. Could get stolen.

"Nonsense." Dave says. Dave always says nonsense. It's like his new favorite word or something. Wait what on earth is h-...?! Dave grabs my hand and kisses the back of it. My entire face feels like it was dumped in burning hot lava. Dave hands me the envelope. 

"Open it after we leave." I sense him wink at me. Wha..?! WAIT WTF JUST HAPPENED?!?! I step back as they leave. Before Dave walks out he turns  to me.

"I'll stop by tomorrow. See you then Karkles." He waves and leaves. Was that a fucking nickname?! Ughh.

"IT'S KARKAT!!" I hate nicknames. The cafe is silent. Nepeta squeals. Okay she's not actually mute. She just only knows ASL due to her mother actually being mute. I tried teaching her English. Failed miserably. I hand them back their notebooks. The cafe is so deserted and quiet. Kanaya and Nepeta both look at the notebooks in shock.

"We Were Invited Backstage Into The Green Room With Them...!!!! This Is Amazing!!" Kanaya says. Nepeta points at her note book too. Wow both of them. That's awesome!! Nepeta signs 'Karkitty! Open the envelope!! That'll supply us for years!!' I nod and open the envelope.

Holy shit...