freedom calls

Of course we dream.

July 4th.

Rowan Clark has always know what she wanted to do with her life. At least, she thought she did.

The fourth of July was always a time where she gave herself the freedom to look inside herself and decide if she really, truly liked it.

She did not.

"Do you guys ever feel.." she paused, trying to find the word.

"Incomplete?"

"Unloveable?"

"Trapped?"

"Hungry?"

Rowan looked over her friends. "Lost, I was going to say. Lost."

"Do you often feel lost, Rowan?" Valorie asked. "Do you feel as if you are a single little bunny rabbit in an ocean full of hungry jackals?"

"No, not often. Sometimes I just take a look around and I wonder, why am I here?" She looked down at the grass. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm here and not out in the world living as a young person should be. Come on guys, we're young. We should be spending our nights gazing at  the stars and our days lazing away in a meadow somewhere surrounded by flowers. Or - or we could be running through the sand on a beach in California and plunging ourselves into the sea. Looking around to see smiling faces. Not tears because of a failed exam or a scared face painted blue and black by people much older."

Rowan stopped to take a breath. She looked up to see that her companions were all staring at her, eyes slightly hazy. Had she spoken in Latin by accident? Are they trying to translate her nonsense?

"Ro, what you're saying is stuff of day dreams and only accessible in theaters, on screens." Marie placed her hand on Rowan's knee. "I'm sorry Ro, but even if we could do those things, School starts soon, when would we find the time?"

"But don't you guys dream?" she asked as the first fireworks lit up the sky behind her.

"Of course we dream. But we also know when to face reality."

"Valorie, what are your dreams? Do you not wish to one day find a love to quite down your past? Marie, don't you dream to publish your photographs and have them adored?
Irina, do you dream of sitting in a dully, painted white room? Or do you dream of Painting the ceilings of a cathedral, being known world wide for your magnificent works." Rowan placed her hand on the shoulder of the last girl in the circle. "Elizabeth, don't you wish to make your mark and show the world what a wonderful musician you are?"

Beth's blue gray eyes met Rowan's. A small smile played on her rosy lips.

"Of course. Of course, I dream and wish. Every night a new scene plays in my head. Dreams of standing on a stage and playing my violin, dreams of living in a home warm with love,  wishes made on stars to one day be noticed and admired for all that i can do."

"And I," Irina cut in, "do one day wish to show off my abilities and be proud."

"So why don't you fight for those dreams? Why let your lives go on without making even a step toward your dreams? For what is the point of living if you do not intend to take hold and make what you want of it?" Ronan grabbed a glass from the picnic basket in front of her and sipped the red liquid inside.