On the weekend, again Zoe was not going to be able to see me, so
I called Alonso and invited him to have a few drinks. Once at the
place, it was enough for him to see me to realize that my smile was
imposed.
-It's because of her, isn't it?
"Yes, it's because of her," I answered. -What happened?
I gave him an account of how things happened. While continued with my story, Alonso did not stop stressing that things were going bad, especially if she would get married soon. With the passing of the hours and the drinks, my story depressed me every time even more; however, I still did not completely confess what I had endured. My pride would not allow it.
Alonso told me that the day of the reunion in his terrace we looked very happy, and he did not understand the radical change in such short time. He also told me that she was
hurting me by not making a decision and that, if she really loved me, she would leave everything for me. I released the glass on the table and raised my head. He saw my watery eyes and the direction of his advice changed. He started telling me that she was also having a hard time living with her fiancé but being in love with me. At the end, his words were compelling: "Sebas, she is not going to leave him. She would have done it. She just clings not to lose you. If you are having fun, it's okay. But it seems to me that Zoe is having fun with you».
My response came from my wounded pride: "Yes, of course, now
I feel that I am only having fun, that she will never leave him. That I already
know". While saying it, I felt that I was stabbing myself. Until he asked me in a very direct way: «And are you still sleeping with her? ». I had no choice but to confess: "No, since the time I told you, since then it has not happened again ». His response was immediate: "So, you're not having fun, my friend. You are doing everything she wants and to the extent that she needs to".
Each time, his words were increasingly devastating. I preferred to keep quiet and listen. I felt like a fool to love someone to the point of accepting her conditions. Alonso took me out of my musings to tell me about the pretty girls that
were at the bar and what table we should approach. I, on my own, was just thinking about Zoe, the one with the sparkle in her eyes, the one who called me "Inoffensive" that unimaginable night. Now all those memories had no connection with reality.
-Alonso? Hello! - greeted a girl who had arrived to our table.
-Hello, Alessandra! What are you doing here? -Asked a smiling Alonso.
-I'm with my sister who has come to visit. We are at the bar - she answered; then she approached to his ear and whispered: - Introduce me to your friend.
Alonso did it immediately:
-Alessandra, he is Sebas.
-Hello, Sebas, I'm with my sister at the bar, why don't you come and have a few drinks? -she suggested.
"Sure," I answered without hesitation. We will be there in a moment.
Alonso proposed that we go where the two girls were at, but I answered that I did not need to meet women in that moment. His response was immediate: «I already know what you need». He grabbed the phone and talked to someone; I got to hear him saying that we were close and to hurry. I did not get upset and kept drinking. Minutes later, someone covered my eyes with her hands. By a moment, I thought it was Alessandra, but then, instinctively, I pronounced Karen's name.
-Yes! How did you know it was me? She asked bewildered.
-I do not know. I just guessed.
I saw her different, very pretty. She had arrived with a friend, who
crossed very flirtatious looks with Alonso. They sat at our
table. Seeing that Karen and I started to talk, Alonso had no better idea than to go out dancing with the friend.
"You're drinking a lot," Karen told me. It's because of her, isn't it?
I nodded, while looking at the bottom of my glass and giving my cigarette a puff.
-Come on; forget it. All this is hurting you. You deserve something good; leave her! Sebas, I know you too much, and it is so apparent that you're not well. I do not know how you could believe in everything she told you. She took my hand and stood up. Come on let's go dance.
My gesture of rejection to her proposal was appeased by a yank and a look saying "you will not leave me standing here!" I got up and started dancing despite my lack of enthusiasm. Karen got close to my ear and kept advising me. Alonso and her friend danced a few yards away, looking at us as if something else was going to happen. My initial resistance gave way to more animated movements. She rehearsed fun dance steps. I seemed to enjoy it, but deep down I just tried to escape from the nostalgia.
Alonso approached us to tell us that he was leaving together with the friend. Karen replied with a smile that there was no problem and that she would make sure to take me home. With the passage of the hours and the drinks, I realized that I could not articulate well the words.
We left the place hugging. Karen guided my steps. In the seat of her car, while she was driving, I saw through the window some of the places where I had been happy with Zoe. We passed near her apartment, and she suggested: "Sebas, do not fall asleep. Don't you want to talk for a while in my place?" I accepted without refuting.
We entered her living room; she prepared a vodka with orange, we started to drink and asked me to tell her the whole story. I preferred to tell her how I felt. I cried. She put my head on her shoulder and began to talk to me in my ear: "I have also gone through what you are telling me. It is horrible, but it will pass. Nobody dies of a broken heart. I could judge her; however, for now, what interests me is that
you get well. Forget about everything already. You are hurting yourself ». I listened to her until I fall asleep.
The next day, some sounds woke me up. I raised my head and felt a very strong pain. It was Karen preparing breakfast. I had fallen asleep on the couch. She approached me with a juice and some toasts.
-How do you feel? -she asked. -Fatal!
She began to tell me that we had a good time the night before. I finished breakfast; I thanked her, and she took me to my house. Before leaving she told me: "I do not want to see you bad. I'll call you later". I smiled, and she took off.
Life looks like a roller coaster, with ups and downs. That makes you feel alive. If you do not want to live intensely the peaks, be satisfied with what you have, lock yourself in your room; if you want to live life as it deserves, you will have joys and sorrows. The joys to make your heart beat a mile per minute, and the sorrows to learn to grow up and to get up. We make the decision ourselves.
Love is that strange feeling that can lead you to be the happiest person in the world and also erase your smile with a single blow, but it will always be worth it. Do not become hard, just learn because at some point the ideal person will come to
you; the one with whom you do not have to carry the past and that will teach you to give everything.
To be happy you must have learned to suffer and know how to overcome it; otherwise, you will not seize your happiness as it should be. We have to live
to learn to live; it'sjust that, so simple but so complicated at the same the time. And in themiddle of so much thought, a new message from Zoe came.
