bringing lucy home

Chapter 41: trust

Hurt and furious, confused and angry, Keira let herself collapse in Steph's supportive arms. There she stayed, like Milly would with her, leaning into her former captain, shaking.

Steph stroked Keira's hair gently and held her tight. "Its ok, its ok...you're safe, Kei."

"Oh Steph," sniffed Keira, her face wet and salty with tears. "I don't know what to do!"

Steph pulled Keira in closer, kissing her forehead. Only a week ago, she'd held Lucy just like this, Lucy telling her the exact same thing. To be honest, Steph didn't know what to do either. Because she was protective of Keira, she wanted to keep her safe in her arms forever. But because she loved Keira, she wanted to make sure she gave Lucy every chance because she knew that Lucy really did love Keira. "Come here. You don't have to know anything, right now. Just breathe."

"I'm trying."

Milly started crying from the other room and Keira started, sitting up groggily but with alarm. "Milly..." she began, half-conscious.

Steph hushed her. "I'll get her. You rest."

"M.—Milly?" Keira called shakily.

"Rest," Steph told her, motioning for her to lay down.

Keira watched Steph disappear up the stair and shivered, hugging herself tight, pressing her own arms around her protectively, rocking back and forth, numb to the tears falling endlessly down her face. She glanced over at the side table where her phone was lighting up. Sighing, she reached over and picked it up.

Luce <3 (3 missed calls)

[Luce <3]: Keira, please call me back

Luce <3: (2 missed calls)

Steph's hand reached in and took the phone from Keira. Keira watched her take it, unmoving. She didn't realize that she had been sitting there, staring at the notifications from Lucy for several minutes.

"Let's put that away," Steph said softly.

"I should...I should call her back," Keira sniffed, wiping tears from her eyes. "She...she needs me."

Steph took Keira's hands in hers, looking gently into the young midfielder's eyes. "Yes, she does need you. But right now, you need to focus on yourself. Lucy's a big girl, she can handle herself. And you...you're strong, Kei. You're so very strong. But you don't know that. And I know you don't think you matter but you do. You matter so much, to me, to everyone. You need to take care of yourself, too. You cant spend your whole life helping and worrying about others and never giving yourself a little love." She lifted Keira's chin so their eyes met. "You know?"

Keira nodded, snuffling. "I'm sorry."

"No," Steph said firmly. "No more of that. You've nothing to be sorry about."

Keira looked up at Steph, her tears blurring her vision. It was such a comfort to her that someone cared so much about her.

"Now, let's fix you up, yeah? Come on." Steph led Keira to the bathroom and lifted her up, sitting her like a child on the bathroom counter.

She took a towel and ran it under the water, wringing it out gently. Then she carefully washed Keira's face, rubbing away the lines of salty tears on Keira's cheeks, erasing the makeup mess under her eyes. The cool water felt good on Keira's face, she closed her eyes, relaxing, letting Steph patch her up together again.

Steph washed away every trace of tangible sadness from Keira's face. She placed a gentle hand on Keira's cheek, rubbing her thumb softly across Keira's freckles. "There. Feel better?"

Keira nodded, smiling through the pain she felt inside.

"Now, come on, let's have something to drink."

Keira almost laughed. "Steph, its 10 am."

Steph frowned. "So?"

Keira smiled slightly. She and Steph sat in the sunlight, and as the warm light felt good on Keira's skin and the fresh air breeze on her freshly washed face, the wine felt good down her throat and warmed her insides.

Steph loosened Keira's hair, letting the golden ginger hair fall down around her neck. She ran a comb through it gently, brushing it to smoothness after it had been tussled by a long night of crying and hugging and sobbing and sleeplessness. Steph worked Keira's hair into a braid and then sat beside her with some wine.

"Your not drinking," Keira noted.

"Ah, Stephen wouldn't like it if I did."

Keira laughed. "It was your idea!"

Steph shrugged. "I figured you could use some."

"Steph, I truly don't deserve you."

"Shush. That's not true. You are the best daughter in the world."

Keira smiled, again. It felt good. She could finally breathe, and she realized how long it had been since she felt this nice. One night being apart from Lucy did wonders...

"You know, she loves you." It was as if Steph had read Keira's thoughts. Keira was a bit startled, but wouldn't be surprised if Steph was full psychic.

Keira looked down. "I don't know that."

"Yes you do."

"If she loved me, why would she do this? Tell me, Steph, because I've given her five million second chances, and I still don't see why she'd done this. Again, she's throwing away our relationship for f@cking Lyon. And the thing is, its happened before, and it broke her. And she's falling for it again. Why?" Keira was trying her best not to get too emotional after crying the night through.

"Her intentions are not to hurt you, infact I don't think she even knows all what you were thinking, about getting married, or your doubts about her love. Really, Keira."

"Well, if she didn't know, then its my fault, for hiding from her just as much as she hid from me."

"That's not fair, Kei. That's not fair to yourself and you know it. Its not your fault for not telling her, its her fault for not noticing. But that's not the point. The point is, she never wanted this to happen. She was foolish for not thinking about you in all this but honestly, she would never want to hurt you. It's the last thing on earth she'd want."

"Lucy, she just..." Keira sighed sadly. "She just is so desperate to get away isn't she? So desperate to get away from me...she'll longing to commit to anything, anything but me."

"Keira," Steph began sympathetically.

Keira wiped a tear from below her eye before it slid down her cheek, looking off into the distance. 

"Keira, Lucy's been struggling every since she accepted this stupid job, wanting to tell you, wishing you'd take it well, because she genuinely cares for you and wants you to be happy. I'm no Lucy advocate, not right now, but I know she never wanted to hurt you like this."

"How do you know?" Keira groaned sadly.

Steph was quiet, and didnt answer.

Keira sat up in her chair, looking over at Steph with narrowed eyes. "Steph...for real...how do you know?" Steph said nothing, scratching her arm. "Steph!" Keira gasped. "YOU KNEW! Oh my god! You knew that Lucy took the job at Lyon! You knew and you didnt tell me?!"

Steph looked hurt and overwhelmed. "Kei! I just...Lucy needed to tell you in her own time! It wasnt my business to tell!"

"Yes, yes it was your business to tell! Because I trusted you, Steph!" Keira cried. She was confused, angry, and hurt that the one person she thought she could trust, STeph Houghton, had known what Lucy was doing and kept it from her.

"Keira, please!" Steph whispered. "I was going to tell you-"

"Oh really?? When? When, Steph? When were you going to tell me? After all this?! After me and Lucy completely fell apart? You knew, Steph, and you just watched this happen," Keira said bitterly. "I dont even know who to trust anymore." She threw down her glass and stormed out of the garden, through the house, walking down the road as far and fast as she could