A new reality (Sayonika)

Yuri

This chapter is dedicated @Lesthanyou. You always make me laugh with your comments. I'm sorry if it's such a short chapter but my iPad is running out of battery

The game of charades was fun, I actually laughed for once. I don't remember the last time I laughed properly. I've never had a reason to. I tried to distract myself from the itchy feeling that tickled my arm. That usually meant I wanted to cut. I felt like absolute shit, I kinda regret kissing Natsuki. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, I just... I think it was a one time thing. It probably won't happen again and that disappoints me a little. She's a good kisser, I have to give her that. She knows what she's doing, I wonder how many people she's kissed before me. There's probably been a lot before me, I'm nothing special. I'll never be anything special, I'm just a freak. Everyone knows.

"Yuri, are you okay?" Sayori whispered to me.

"Yeah I'm fine," I answered, trying to concentrate on the film on the screen and the pizza on my plate. She did the same.

I hated this, it was all a lie. They all hate me, don't they? They hate me because I cut, they hate me because I'm a freak. They don't need to say because I already know. I can feel my heart pounding but I don't do anything to stop it. I try to stay calm, I can't give anything away. I'll just let it beat, let it beat until it bleeds. All I can do is bleed. It's the only thing I can do well.

(A/N: Can't believe I started a mental health spiel. Who cares about that?)