A new reality (Sayonika)

Sayori

My nose still hurt from the events that happened earlier. Luckily, it wasn't broken. I think about Natsuki. She was certainly... something. A very assertive character, that's for sure. She seemed to enjoy our company though, which made me happy. Monika and Yuri were both quite flustered in her presence but that'll pass soon. It's because she's small but stubborn. I don't think they were expecting it. I hear a knock at the door, gentle but loud enough for me to hear. I get up to open it.

"Sayori, open the door!" I hear Ryan behind the door. When I open it, he stumbles in.

It was raining heavily outside, drops splattering onto my feet as they hit the doorstep. Ryan was soaked from head to toe, he was shivering from the icy cold rain. I closed the door and turned to him. I opened my mouth to say something but he was speaking first.

"I locked myself out, can I borrow the spare key? I'll give it back."

"Okay," I replied, disappointed.

I walked into the kitchen and opened a draw. I fumbled through wires and battery packets (left by my father) until I saw a small house key. I picked it up. Ryan snatched it out of my hand and ran back into the cold. He returned a few minutes later.

"Thanks," he said, dropping it into my hand.

"No problem," I watched him as he entered his house before retreating back into my own.

I sighed and flopped onto the sofa. Not even my best friend wanted to have a proper conversation with me. My body trembled as I held back stinging tears, threatening to pour down my face. I angrily wiped my eyes and curled up into a ball. My phone suddenly lit up on the coffee table. I grabbed it. A message from Monika popped up on the screen. I sat up to read it.

"Today was fun, wasn't it?"

I replied.

"Yeah, it was."

"How's your nose?"

"It still hurts but it's not so bad. Definitely not broken, which is good."

She went quiet for a minute before responding.

"Are we still gonna have the sleepover?"

I cringe, realising how stupid it was suggesting that. Sleepovers are for little kids, we're going to college soon.

"If you want to. I asked Yuri about it, she actually liked the idea."

"Of course, and Yuri? Out of all of us I thought she'd be the least excited."

"Same here but Yuri does like to surprise people every now and then. She could be a detective in disguise for all we know."

"True."

It had been a while since I had spoken to someone properly. It made me feel fluttery inside. I don't know why though.

"I'll ask Natsuki about it tomorrow," I send the message.

I wait a minute, ready to turn off my phone. A small ping indicates a new message.

"Can't wait to read your poem tomorrow. ❤️"

My heart starts beating faster as I reply. 

"Same here."

I turn my phone off and place it back on the table. 

                                   ********************************

When I enter the club room, Natsuki and Monika are already there. Monika smiles when she sees me, her face flushed a slight pink. Natsuki glances up at me, frowns, then looks back down at her hands. I approach her.

"Hey Natsuki," I start.

She looks up.

"So on Saturday we were planning a club sleepover, just so we could learn more about each other. Do you want to come as well?"

She pauses for a second.

"Maybe, it depends on what my dad says," she shivers slightly.

"Okay, let me know if anything happens."

"I will," Natsuki nods.

I back away slowly just as the door opens and Yuri rushes in. She sits down, out of breath.

"Sorry, I was in the bathroom and lost track of time," she says between breaths. 

"It's fine Yuri. Do you need a minute?" I ask.

"Yes please," Yuri rests her head on the desk.

I walk over to Monika and stand next to her.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey," she replies.

We stand there in silence. Something seemed different today. Her eyes were red, as if she had been crying and she was more quiet than usual. 

"Are you okay?" I ask, my voice filled with concern.

"I'm fine, I have a cold."

"Okay," I highly doubt it.

"I have the poem I promised yesterday," she reached out for her bag and pulled a black notebook out. She flipped through the pages then handed it to me.

Just

My pen flows across the paper,

the ink drying instantly.

Looking at it now 

I wish I could change it.

I wish it was just me.

Load me,

delete her,

save us.

A happy song perhaps

or a sad melody.

Both I can't bear.

Why does it hurt?

A pain in my chest,

a dagger through my heart.

Death an option.

Yet not my only one.

A heavenly sight,

right before my eyes.

Something out of my reach 

but so close.

Just me,

Just me.

Why not?

My eyes move from the paper to Monika. The corners of my lips pointed up, a warm smile on my face.

"It's beautiful," I tell her.

"Thank you," she replies, smiling too.

I give her my poem. She looks up, her smile even bigger.   

"I love it."