A new reality (Sayonika)

Monika

Natsuki and Yuri both just left the room, I take this chance to talk to Sayori. 

"So what do you think they're doing then?" I asked.

"Probably gonna kiss, have you seen the way Natsuki stares at her? It's so obvious," Sayori whispered to me so they wouldn't hear.

"You really think so?"

"Yeah! I've never been more sure of something in my life," she said.

We didn't speak for a moment. I thought about the state of the house when I first walked in, messy, unorganised. How did she live like this? More importantly, for how long?

"Are you alright Sayori?" 

She turned to me, something I didn't recognise filling her face.

"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?" She said, her voice getting higher the more defensive she got.

"Things were broken, piles of clothes were everywhere and all the plates were dirty. I'm worried about you."

"Well, you don't need to be. I'm fine as long as everyone else is happy," she looked away.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I just want you all to be happy, if you're not then I'm not and it's horrible," she covered her face, her voice wobbling.

"Sayori..." I didn't know what to say"... We're all so happy especially with you and if you're not happy then we aren't."

Tears were streaming down her face.

"Do you want to talk about it? Seeing as they've left the room, we can talk about anything," I offered.

Sayori quietly nodded her head. I reached for the remote and paused the film. I was glad, it was kinda boring. I'd rather talk to her.

"So tell me everything."

"Well, I..." she looked down and started to knot her fingers in the blanket on top of our laps,"... it started a while ago. The rain clouds over my head got bigger and bigger when I was alone at school. My best friend Ryan had stopped waiting for me to wake up because I always oversleep. He doesn't know why though."

"Why do you oversleep?" I ask. 

"I don't actually I just... I lie in my bed wondering why I have to. What's the point in me getting up if the clouds won't go away?" she whispered.

"Sayori, what's happening?"

"I... I've had really bad depression my whole life, self diagnosed because I don't want to go to the doctors. It affects my mood and I have these internal arguments which ends up with me throwing my stuff around and I..." She said all that in one breath. I decided to stop her before she collapsed.

"Calm down, okay?" Her breathing slowed. I wrapped my arms around her," it's alright. I understand."

"No you don't. You're just saying that to make me feel better," she murmured.

"Why would I do that? As a person who has to be perfect and confident all the time, I think I know a lot," I said.

"You have to be perfect all the time? Monika, what..."

"I know, all the other children hated me when I was younger, a girl tried to drown me, I was heavily teased for my so-called perfection and I even tried killing myself at one point but it didn't work," fuck, I shouldn't have said that. This conversation was about her not me.

"Monika, thank you. Are you happy with me?" She asked.

"Of course I am. Natsuki and Yuri are as well," it was like talking to a child. Not that that was a bad thing.

Her face flushed red, her blue eyes seemed to sparkle a little. I'm gonna kiss her. It might ruin a lot but I don't even care right now. I just need to. But before I can do anything there was a loud scream coming from outside the room.

"WHAT THE HELL!" came a muffled shout.

"Fuck," I muttered to myself.

"Should we go check on them?" Sayori asked.

"I think we should," I said.

We stood up to investigate whatever was happening outside. We crept over to the door and opened it. My eyes widened at the scene. What the fuck...