Unravelling

Chapter 30 - Partners In Crime

I am completely lost.

After leaving Jack and Will's room – correction, after being thrown out by Will because I hurt our brother with asking all these questions – I have been standing in the hallway for an eternity, feeling paralyzed and unable to make any useful decisions.

The conversation with my brothers and hearing their heart-breaking story has emotionally drained me. Yes, I think that is how Sean would describe the way I am feeling.

I have always been fascinated by his job and his "insightfulness", if that is even a word. I love to listen to him when he starts explaining the reasons for why people do this or behave like that. I guess I have picked up the odd expression and have even been able to retain some of the stuff he has mentioned over the years.

Thinking about Sean...

Should I call him to make sure he is okay?

He sounded okay to me at the family meeting. But it is a bit hard to tell, through the phone. Plus, you can hide things so much better if you don't have to look at anybody.

Maybe I should check up on him?

Technically, I am not allowed to use my phone after 8pm. But nobody asked me to bring it downstairs yet. And as far as I can tell, Sam is the only one home with us kids. He isn't really known to enforce Alex' rules. He sticks to them, of course, when he is reminded of them, but he won't normally bother us if we "forget" to do something. He is kind of laid back in that respect.

I dismiss the thought of calling Sean.

What would I even say to him?

What kind of comfort could I offer?

He might be mad at me, for digging in my family's past and bringing all these old, sad memories back to the surface. I don't think I could handle his being upset with me, on top of everything else.

Instead, I find myself wandering towards the twins' bedroom as if on auto-pilot. This time I don't hesitate, like I did when I was standing in front of Jack's room earlier. I knock and wait.

"Come in," Noah calls a few seconds later.

I open the door and cautiously walk in, prepared for Aidan's standard complaint about my being there and completely ignoring his order to stay out of their room. Only, this time, he doesn't say anything. Well, actually, he does, but it certainly isn't what I expected.

"Are you okay?" Aidan asks.

I stare at him wide-eyed, trying to figure out if I am hearing things.

Since when does he care about my well-being?

"U-uhm...y-yeah... I t-think I am...umm...I-I guess...well, no...no, I am not," I stammer.

I catch myself nervously fiddling with my hands.

"Are you crying?" Noah now speaks up, too.

My hands fly up to my face, confused by his question, and I am surprised to find that my cheeks are wet.

I guess I am crying.

I haven't even noticed this. How weird. As if I am only just now becoming more aware of myself, the headache makes itself known again, too. I wince and involuntarily squeeze my eyes shut for a second.

When I open them again, Noah is standing right in front of me, completely invading my personal space. He looks at me suspiciously.

"What's going on with you, huh?" he asks softly.